I'm not sure that our new worship pastor understands the difference between "Lord of the Dance" and "Dance unto the Lord"

"Wait, this is a church, not a performance of 'A Chorus Line?'"

Woman: "I think this church has become too focused on being relevant for my liking."
Man: "Well give the chorus line credit my love, they're better than the sermon."

Big Chris

When I asked the pastor, "Can our church do 'Lord of the Dance'?", I meant the hymn - not Michael Flatley's stage musical!

Hugh Griffiths
Swansea, United Kingdom

I know that we are trying to find the best person to be our new pastor, but a River Dance competition seems a little overboard.

Michael Jones
Lebanon Valley Church of Christ
Lebanon, PA

The second we started doing those capital campaigns to build this multi-million dollar "performance center" I knew that is exactly would we would get.

We were seeking relevance. The river dance is no longer relevant.

Sam Andress
Mountainside Communion
Monrovia, CA

"I think that maybe the new Arts Pastor has taken the whole unity thing one step too far."
Jonathan King
Illini Life
Champaign,IL

I thought this was "A Hymn Chorus Time," not "A Chorus Line."

and

"Does this mean we're no longer Lutheran?"

"I think the new Missional church being planted in the Kickline District will do well."

"No, this is the Jordan Riverdance."

"Once again the church is one quickstep behind the culture."

"I'm not sure that stained-glass window is theologically accurate."

"I'm definately supporting this missionary family."

"Did Jesus really say 'Pick up your mat and dance'?"

"I don't care, I'm still not serving in the nursery."

Woman: "So what do you think of the chorus line dear?"

Man: "Can't stand it! It's way too long, flashy, and repetitive. Whatever happened to the hymn lines of old?! Now that was dancing! Three or four people, ornately dressed in Elizabethan English garb, marching to the beat of the organ!"

Scott Isom
Rainier View Christian Church
Tacoma, WA

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against the odd skit or something like that; but sometimes I wonder - with this whole seeker-sensitive approach - are we at church or are we on the set of the Jay Leno show?

I liked "Apostles on Ice" better.

Last I knew Peter was the Rock, not one of the Rockettes.

Alan Ward
Lodge Forest UMC
Edgemere, MD

Thank you for convincing me not to "forsake the assembling" today. This is great! They should find a "translator" to contextualize the KJV into "Let's consider how we can watch a dance on to love and good works..."

I thought you said this was gonna be a quick "rush in" service. . .

You didnt tell me that the finance team was going to report this morning!

"OK, I understand that Asahel was fleet of foot, but this human video illustration is a bit over the top."

and

"See, I told you changing our name from 'First Baptist' to 'The River' would lead to dancing."

Is this "dancing in the spirit" or the Rockettes?

"This is the weirdest pastor search committee I've ever served on."

OR

"I always knew excommunication would make for good reality TV."

OR

"I hope they vote off the third pastor from the left; he lacks a certain je ne sais quoi."

David A. Zimmerman
Community Presbyterian Church
Lombard, Illinois

Wait 'til you see their rendition of "Shall We Gather By the River."

A half-time show? Don't you think Pastor Bob's "Life is Like a Football Game" series has gotten out of hand?

What I said was, "I would like to see the Ministry team's STANCE!

I think that the fifth guy in from the left is the new full time assistant to the Associate Director of Children's Multimedia Enterprises over at the Northeast Satellite Campus.

Jesse Tink
Prairie Lakes Church
Cedar Falls, IA

These mega-church programs are getting so popular that we cannot even see them any more.

www.matthewsblog.waynesborochurchofchrist.org

Matthew Morine

". . . clone him!, clone him! . . . ah,oops, sorry, got carried away . . . "

"This is the stuff that makes me question if America's Got Talent!?"

Ryan
Canadian Baptists of the West
Alberta, CANADA

The deacons here do "The Fisherman's Hornpipe" every time the building fund offering tops $10,000.

Kathy Wynveen
Living Hope Bible Church
Sheboygan Falls, WI