January 9, 2008
Disarming the Boomers
Can a younger pastor bring change without getting blown away?
Let's be honest. The distance between the Boomers and Busters isn't just a generation gap - it's a generation gorge. The cultural, technological, and philosophical shifts that have occurred in recent decades have given these two generations fundamentally different perspectives. Although some younger pastors have abandoned the Boomer church to launch their own communities, there are many struggling to serve side by side with the older generation. In part 1 of his post, David Swanson shares the lessons he's learned as a younger pastor attempting to bring change on a team dominated by Boomers.
In his letter introducing me as a new associate pastor to the congregation, the senior pastor included the Apostle's advice to his young apprentice, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity" (1 Timothy 4:12). I was 25 years old and, while it was a nice sentiment, the verse hardly seemed necessary. Five years later it is clear Paul's words were more than a kind gesture; they were a hint at the reality to come.
The generational gap between myself and those I was leading quickly became perceptible. As long as my energy was primarily spent maintaining ministries, the difference between the Boomers and me was negligible. It was when I began asking questions about our ministry strategies and effectiveness that Paul's councel took on new significance.
The leaders at our church are too gracious to have looked down on me as I asked my ministry questions. However, as more time was spent looking for ways to answer those questions, the differences in our ages and ways of seeing the world were a constant reminder of my youth. Even as we came to understand and accept the differences, there continued to be surprises. Three of these came up repeatedly.
Trust must be earned again, and again?and again
As a young staff person, I rightly trusted our church's leaders. These were men and women who had been commended with the significant task of leading our community. And while I knew these leaders liked me and appreciated my gifts, in those first years it was clear they didn't entirely trust me. One morning I was venting about this to my senior pastor when he said, "Just wait until you're 30. I'm not sure why, but something changes on your 30th birthday."
In hindsight I see how true his observation was. Who knows why, but people's perceptions of a young leader change when he or she is no longer in their 20's. In the meantime, I had to accept the fact that trust was not mine to lose, but mine to earn?again and again. It's a slow process that required a lot of relationship building over a lot of coffee.
Last decade's battles feel like yesterday
One of the ministry questions I asked of our leaders was whether we were intentionally engaging our culture with the love of God. One person consistently pushed back when this topic was raised. He would say, "How can we be sure this kind of engagement won't lead to relativism?" I never understood where this question came from, but we shared many lunches where I hoped to convince him that I had no interest in relativism of any kind. I would walk away assuming the conversation was closed, only to receive an email the next week asking the same question in a slightly different way.
Over coffee with a different leader, I expressed my frustration with this person's questions. "He's like a broken record!" I huffed. From across the table came the reply, "You have to understand that moral relativism was the battle of our generation. Everything hinged on that issue for us Boomers." The stars aligned in that moment. Suddenly this individual's concerns seemed much more valid. While at times I still got frustrated, I was also more patient knowing the source of his concerns.
My slow is your fast
One of the phrases that a young leader grows to loathe is, "You need to be patient." Or at least I did. The truth is that "slow" and "fast" are very subjective. After a couple of years, I began to recognize the subtle looks of panic as I would suggest strategies or new ideas for the church. While these ideas seemed reasonable to me, to some of our Boomer leaders they sounded quite risky, radical even.
Perhaps, as a leader ages, it is inevitable that the tolerance for risk diminishes. What once seemed reasonable eventually appears risky and fast. I don't know. This is one surprise that continues to be frustrating to me at times. While I see the need for the wisdom of my elders, I also do not want to lose the sense of urgency for the work God has called us to.
These are just three of the surprises I encountered as a younger leader. For those of you in this category, are there additional things that caught you off guard? And for you Boomer leaders, what do you find tricky about working with or being led by the younger generation?
In part 2 of his post, Swanson will suggest a few ways the younger leader can intentionally serve and lead an older generation.
David Swanson is the associate pastor of Parkview Community Church in Glen Ellyn, Illinois.
Posted by UrL Scaramanga on January 9, 2008
Comments
Pretty insightful -- David learns from experience. His experience is being acquired as an outsider on the inside. Mine was gained as an outsider on the periphery.
I'm 61 -- the leading edge of the Boomers. I became aware of Christ as Lord in my late teens. My vocation has been in mid to big business, and strategy and analysis are essential. Part of my career involved revitalizing failed businesses.
I've found that many organizations are uncomfortable with "different." Young people need to earn and re-earn trust from established insiders, while established insiders resent anyone expecting them to earn and re-earn trust -- this is MY house; accept it! In-place leaders/managers don't say "we've never done it that way" so much as "this is the way we do it," and are suspicious of different. Rightfully so, but then one should be suspicious of the existing process, too. If everyone believed if it ain't broke, don't fix it -- we'd still be driving Model-Ts.
When David asks questions, the established leaders/managers resist because they are being asked to think about their effectiveness. It's far more comfortable just to keep doing. And rather than find answers, it's easier to find excuses, like he's under 30 and we don't want to be a business. It's not that youth and focus are problems, it's the inconvenience of reconsideration.
Posted by: George at January 9, 2008
This is why each generation needs new expressions of church. The emerging church is the prime example of this currently, although there have been others. In the 1960s it was the Jesus movement which captured the imagination of a whole generation. In the 1980s the Vineyard churches exploded, and so on. So, this is not disturbing, but actually quite healthy. The trick, as David so well notes, is to walk carefully on the turf of another generation. None of us like to have our gen dissed. -- Chuck
Posted by: Chuck Warnock at January 9, 2008
Age isn't only about trust. It's also about position and longevity in the church. At our church, I am nearing 40, have been in full time ministry for over 15 years, and have a slough of experiences in a number of different denominations. All of these things apparently pale next to two issues - I'm the youth pastor, and I'm a transplant (to the church, and the state). This hurts tremendously, as I trust first, and wait for that trust to be broken before I worry about those in authority over me. The generation before me, though (even those my age), have the opposite reaction. With the exception of two leaders, I have found the author's thoughts to be right in line with my experience here. One leader won't ever trust me because it's his nature (so I've learned experientially and from others), and the other leader - Praise God, my senior pastor - has trusted me from the beginning... in part because he's only been here 3 years, and understands the trust issue, and because he's only a few years older than me. Thanks for letting me share a little.
Posted by: Paul Loeffler at January 9, 2008
David, hmmmm. I think your name is appropriate. King David probably got a lot of stares when he wanted to take on Goliath.
Your story about the relativism question is very insightful. The actions of one generation are diametrically opposed to another. Thus the tension.
Posted by: Jonathan Brink at January 9, 2008
As a person in his upper twenties, I find all of this very interesting. I think the generational differences definitely exist, but in a different way than you have worded it. You mention the trust thing... I find that Boomers in general have a hard time trusting others in general... not just those younger than them. Even when you find a boomer praising someone else, you will find them doubting them in the next. Regarding last decades battles, you will find some Boomers caught in this, but you will find just as many if not more who are glad to escape last decades battles. What I find is that if you ask around the person grinding that axe today was grinding it a decade ago-- and people a decade ago were tired of it then as well. Finally, regarding the relativeness of slow and fast... your right that is relative. However, I don't think this is simply a generational thing, although young people do like to propose quick changes all of the time. What I find is that Boomers are slow to change things because they actually like the way things are. They will take a year to make a decision and then two years to implement it... sometimes. However, we have all watched Boomers make instantaneous decisions that change everything overnight as well... it's all about motivation, crisis, passion, and whether they can visualize the change and see it as absolutely necessary. I think what must be seen as more important than anything is that the Boomers were the ones creating revolution in the 60s... they made a lot of hoop-la to create change. In the end... most of them entered the normal world of business in order to make money. With this as a backdrop... they are very wary of the younger generation knowing that most changes are probably not necessary.
Posted by: Justin at January 9, 2008
Thank you for this, David. I am in almost the same situation as a 31 year old worship/associate pastor with a late Boomer senior pastor and early Boomer associate who've been working together for 17 years. I am learning how to honor their leadership while working towards new strategies as well. Your words about the worldview "gorge" and "my slow is your fast" are dead on. It's a tough road sometimes, but I know God is using all of our gifts and skills for His kingdom work! I will look forward to Part 2.
Posted by: Michael at January 9, 2008
Boomers fought their own battles in their younger years with the Builders (i.e., "the Greatest Generation"). Guitars and drums in the sanctuary, women wearing pants to church, KJV versus new translations--these were Boomer-Builder issues. My old leadership books provide the same advice from the late 70's--earn trust, give time for reasons for change to take root, etc. It's just wise advice. Boomers perhaps feel now that we're the old fogies, we think we've got it right. Each generation will have it's own unique worship/style perspectives. The "radical" sounds of Maranatha music in the mid 70's is the Muzak of today's church. And rest assured, the day is coming when David Crowder will be blasé.
Posted by: bishopdave at January 9, 2008
"One of the phrases that a young leader grows to loathe is, “You need to be patient.” Or at least I did. The truth is that “slow” and “fast” are very subjective."
No doubt, but sometimes, I think that experience can slow down the decision-making time of even well-meaning people. This is not due to a "we've tried that before" attitude, but rather the simple fact that when you are 45 or 65, you have tried a whole lot of things in your life that the 25 yr old has yet to imagine. So sure, they make up their minds at what seems like a snail's pace, but they have a whole lot more to consider. (Note: I should be saying "we" since I'm 45!)
Justin writes: "What I find is that Boomers are slow to change things because they actually like the way things are."
A very good post Justin. Just one note: Everyone moves slowly to change things from a place where they are already happy. And a 45 yr old boomer attending a church for the 20th year is, not surprisingly, often happy. That's why they attend. (Broad generalization, for sure, and yes I'm ignoring perennial complainers who are never happy anyways.)
Posted by: Dave W at January 10, 2008
it is interesting what topics and issues different generations see as the most important ones - one might almost say something is important now RELATIVE to what used to be.
and to the pastor who said that "moral relativism was the battle of our generation," i say, "and i hope you don't mind if we revisit your 'absolutes' in ours."
EVERYTHING is relative - luckily, Scripture lays that out right from the beginning in the first two chapters of genesis (right, melody?...). the author of genesis one wants everyone to see God as the creator of everything; in genesis two, a different author gives God a different name and has the goal of painting Man as, RELATIVEly, the centerpiece of that creation.
each generation is different, as the post's author makes clear. for better or worse, each has to resolve issues for itself. as time progresses, we become more and more aware that the conclusions reached by those before us worked for their times, and might not work for ours. we realize the errors in their logic and understanding; this hopefully, helps us see the errors in ours.
unfortunately, too much of the church has abandoned reason and bought blindly and with unquestioned acceptance into many things that have outlived their usefulness.
with age can come wisdom, but it can also bring a severe fear of change and, at times, a pronounced obstinance. it's important that, as far as the church is concerned, we deal with the issues with grace. but it's most important that we DO deal with them...
Posted by: mike rucker at January 10, 2008
i attended our denominations state conference last year. delegates from all the churches attended. they are to be representatives of the congregation. 90% were between 50 and 70. Why do I bring it up here?
I think as every generation gets older we tend to dig in our heels because we either fear change or find it unnecessary. I am 32 and i am afraid my generation will be the same. i hope not.so we have to remember where we are all speaking from.
While the younger leaders need to honor and respect; the older generation needs to create space and mentor younger leaders into places of leadership.
Posted by: joe at January 11, 2008
It is interesting that we always want to accommodate people and arrange things to meet the seekers needs. During the past few years as I have been traveling around the country, I have observed and noticed the numerous attractions that the Church has to offer to the world to attract them into their church. I have read some of the following slogans to get people to come to church where they will hopefully meet Christ through programs and Christian love: Karate for Christ; Cookies for Jesus; treat night; movie night; breakfast with Jesus; Gun Cleaning Clinic; Wrestling for Jesus; fine arts night; Battle of the Bands, etc. These are only a few that stand out in my mind, but there are many more ‘catchy’ and ‘gimmicky’ titles that appear across church marquees or signs around the country. We also have modern worship and various forms to appeal to different people when they all have the same need.
I clearly understand the intent of the programs, gimmicks, messages and means that churches and Christians are using to try and draw people and reach different people. However, I am concerned that we are trying so many means, that we are forgetting the simplicity of letting the world know of the Gospel; which literally means “The Good News.” We are trying to hide the good news and disguise it under another guise or behind our love and style. I am wondering why so many Christians find the need to repackage the simplicity and directness of the Gospel, known as the good news; or the love of Christ. A full article relating to this topic can be read in its entirety at http://www.focusonheaven.com
Michael Mathews
Posted by: Michael Mathews at January 11, 2008
The generation gap is a product of our fallen natures. Unfortunately, we bought the package Satan sold us, and fell into the belief that rather than promote the unity of the believers, regardless of their age, sex, experience, whatever, we should cater to those differences. What we "created" was a monster that we are now having a whole lot of difficulty subduing. It's taken us a long time to cut the body up. How long will it take us to put it back together?
Posted by: Lynda Schultz at January 15, 2008
The reason the church is grasping at gimmicks to try to reach the lost, and basically failing is that much of the church has left the power of the gospel behind. The early church reached their lost with a love so powerful that in three hundred years a band of 120 in an upper room shook the whole Roman empire with signs and wonders and a love that feared nothing, not even death. This kind of revival is roaring in the third and second world just outside our borders, while inside the church is sick. Bishop Earl Paulk, and Ted Haggard are just big symptoms of this sickness. I go to those foreign lands and see thousands saved and thousands healed and delivered. I know what I am talking about, but when I come back I see just a few healings here. Why? I don't know all the reasons, but I know we don't really need God or so we think.
God Bless you all.
Posted by: Evan Wiggs at January 15, 2008
David, I appreciate your insight and advice. I am a 25 year old pastor and the only pastor of a congregation where the average age is 60+. It is challenging from so many angles. Our church is beginning the process of considering change and boy is it slow. I'm constantly told to be patient and I'm always fighting to be trusted. Many days, I don't think there is any hope for these "old folks." Yet, God is good and we keep pushing forward. I look forward to reading your second article.
Posted by: Curt at January 15, 2008
In all the above posts, save one that mentioned the first century church, no one has identified the core reality that our faith is a historical faith. The historical record of the early church fathers's - St.Augustine, Polycarp, St. Francis of Assisi, Justin Martyr, Aquinas, Luther, Edwards, Wesley etc. who wrestled through core theology, established orthodoxy, crafted the creeds and frequently paid the ultimate price for the faith - informs us today. I have been around long enough to watch as several contemporary generations of Western believers have decided that this richness of faith and experience doesn't matter. In fact, the current secular postmodern view is that no history, secular or church, informs how they live. That the North American church confuses orthodoxy and sacramental worship with evangelism reflects a sad neglect of the foundation of our faith and a naievty to understand how important that history is. There is plenty of room to accommodate change and innovation - but not at the expense of orthodoxy. The North American church is weak and sick because we only have a passing acquaintance with the God of our fathers. If we knew Him well, we would be living very visible, counter culture lives. We would not be attempting to make our faith look as much like the pagan world as possible. This is where intergenerational conflict related to change occurs within the body of Christ - around bogus issues of cultural expression that would dissipate quickly if our worship and teaching truly focused on the power, dominion and majesty of, as Francis Schaeffer so aptly said it,"The God Who is There." The Jude 24 benediction says it all. ..."all glory, majesty, power and authority are His before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen.
Posted by: Paul Almas at January 15, 2008
I am 36 and have served many roles in many different denominations as lay/paid/full-time.
The trust I was taught to give others as one brought up christian is not reciprocated by those who taught my generation.
Jesus started at 30 for a reason. Life's outlook does seem to change at 30, but I pray that I don't loose the passion.
I have learned many hard lessons in my two senior minister ministries. The old addage that 'people don't care how much you know till they know how much you care' is very true...however, David hit it on the head that some just don't want to know how much you care because you are asking valid questions that will lead to an adjustment.
The explicit trust and faith in God demanded by coming to him as little children is replaced by the 'wisdom' gained from personal experiences and 'tried and true methods' of the past.
Jesus fought it....our parents fought it...it's now our turn. Hold on to Jesus for all your worth!
As one in the fight...starting a new church is an idea I have battled over and over but God has not released me from my post. Working on my personal character, methods of ministry, and God's molding me is as important to Him as local revival.
Being in on a huge God thing is my desire...but I did not realize how much it will hurt me as I endure and adjust to God. I have to remember...I prayed for it!
Posted by: Scott at January 15, 2008
I've been in lay leadership at churches from my 20s until now--my early 40s. So, I've been on both sides of the "young vs. not so young" dilemma within the church. I appreciate David's comments and the responses here. I would hope that both the young and not-so-young would always look for the best in each other and work at learning from each other, knowing that while we may approach things differently, we all love God and are working to serve Him within our church community. I love serving alonside both the 20somethings AND the 60somethings at my church.
Posted by: Barb at January 15, 2008
I am 53 years old, and I couldn't agree more, David. Speed certainly is subjective! Your slow may be my fast. But think about this: for both of us--as well as for those from the Psalmist to anyone who is suffering from evil and injustice--God's fast may be our slow. You might not be the only one who is impatient.
So maybe we should try to think about things not simply from our own subjective framework. (That is, after all a very Modernist thing to do, as Descartes--one of the Early Modernist Fathers--demonstrated.) Maybe neither Boomer Modernism nor Buster Postmodernism offer a perspective that is faithful to Christ.
Maybe we should be truly relational, and always be ASKING, "how can I keep in step with the Lord? What speed is He moving at?" None of us-- Boomers or Busters or Whatevers-- will ever be able to fully match His pace. Even as He is patient with us, we need to be patient with Him and with each other.
At the same time, we should always keep SINGING the psalmist's constant refrain, "How long, O Lord? How long?" (Ps. 6:3, et al) All of us--Boomers and Busters and Whatevers-- share that song.
Posted by: Beth Bilynskyj at January 17, 2008
Having just turned 50, I am beginning to have a new perspective on life... and this post has reminded me of the generational challenges of ministry that I faced at age 23 when I took my first youth pastor position and the senior minister, a wonderful man now with the Lord, started his ministry in the early 1940's! As I moved on in that ministry and then in my second church, I had the same challenges that are described here...the landscape was changing and their modes of ministry were not longer effective and it was painful to watch...and I was often view with contempt... but in the second and third churches that I served I ended up with boomer peers and how the landscape changed...
Now at 50 and realizing that I will probably never pastor a 'big' church... I am wanting to be a mentor and encourager to the younger generation because they are becoming the leaders who will pastor my kids...the millenials...I still have a place in ministry and a calling (most important of all) for the next 12 to 15 years... but it will be different and challenging and good... to my younger colleagues... if God has truly called you... you need to have trust in that call because it will be at times the only thing that will keep you going
Posted by: Jim Kane at January 18, 2008
A huge part of the problem, that Busters don't seem to understand, is Boomers self-perception. We (I'm 52) view ourselves as the change agents, the revolutionaries. We have changed everything as we have gone through life, including the church. We have positioned ourselves as "against" the "old-thinkers." Now, the Busters come along and have the audacity to say that we're the "old-thinkers," "old fogies," "stuck in a rut." We resent the classification and, therefore, dig in our heels. Of course we seem to distrust younger leaders! They seem all too eager to throw out what we worked hard to acheive, and to "dis" it in the process. A few years ago, as a new pastor in an established church, I worked hard and fought the battles to transition the church to the kind of church that ministered meaningfully to me and my generation. Then, we naively hired a buster-aged worship pastor. Once, when we were discussing our differences and trying to come together, I listened to his side and then said, "What you're telling me is that I had church as I like it for about 3 years. Before that I had my parents' church, now you want me to have my kids' church. I worked hard and fought the battles and it worked! It was great! But I only got to enjoy it for 3 years!" That's why Busters are finding Boomers hard to work with. Don't classify us as "old and needing to change." Appeal to our self-perception as change agents who are used to shaping the world in our image. We're pretty sure that what we like is the way things should be, aren't you?
Posted by: Tim at January 19, 2008
Fascinating how the Boomers are stereotyped as people who rebelled against authority...then some seem to work hard to preserve their own authority.
Difference only equals rebellion when your preferences are being challenged.
Just goes to show that humans are going to act, well, human. This whole valorization of particular generations as groups that can be quantified and defined is problematic.
It's not Boomers vs. Busters...it's the age old pride of human beings and their deepseated sin of "godding" over others.
Augustine had it right, we'd do well to heed his warning about domination.
Posted by: nc at January 27, 2008
As a church consultant let me first ask what you mean by suggesting change in the "church"? I fear that rather than making changes in a part of the church system the change agents try to change the entire system, beginning with the morning service because that is seen as "THE CHURCH".
In one church on the move we developed seven services on Sunday morning and only two were identical. The first law of change is to start with a "temporary system" in one area and see how it works before trying to move everybody into a forced change.
People will change but nearly always resist forced change and criticism from others. Nobody but a wet baby wants to be changed by another person. Be as "Wise as a serpent and as gentle as a dove" and you can change from a minor position.
Posted by: Gary Sweeten at February 9, 2008