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February 21, 2008
Canadian Sermon Types, eh?
And now for something completely different...

Neil Young, who pastors Erindale United Church in Mississauga, Ontario, sent us this inventory of sermon styles in the Great White North.
The Maple Syrup: Boils source material down to about 1/50th its starting volume.
The Mountie: When it's most dressed-up, it doesn't arrest anybody.
The Igloo: Goes 'round and 'round until a final capstone is dropped in.
The Curling: Kind of incomprehensible, but everybody seems to have a good time.
The Lacrosse: Fast, hard-hitting, and it's hard to see the points as they're made.
The Hockey Fight: Staggers unsteadily, swinging wildly, but lands a punch or two.
The Canadian: Overly apologetic.
The Snowmobile: Loud and a bit obnoxious, but takes you places you otherwise wouldn't go.
The Beaver: Dams everything in sight.
The Maple Leaf: Has 11 points; always ends up falling to the ground.
Comments
i can add one:
The Charismatic: each congregant hears the sermon in his or her own native tongue (as long as it's English or French), but sermons are only given when an interpreter is present.
and i've never even been to canada... eh?
Posted By: mike rucker | February 21, 2008 10:45 AM
Is his name actually Neil Young? There's probably a dozen models right there.
Posted By: BLM | February 21, 2008 10:15 PM
the snowsquall: has no idea where its heading any more and ends up in the ditch.
Posted By: Carey Nieuwhof | February 22, 2008 12:00 AM
The Newfoundlander: Starts out on solid ground but then goes fishing and never comes back.
Or the Albertan: A wealth of natural resources, but never taxes anyone.
Posted By: Mike | February 22, 2008 3:31 PM
Another Newfoundland Sermon: "Always a half hour later than everyone else"
You have to watch CBC television to get that one.
Posted By: Mike | February 22, 2008 5:09 PM
Snowfall in the city: you can't hear it because of all the noise people are hearing.
Posted By: Gary Sweeten | February 23, 2008 7:11 AM
Thanks for these. Hopefully my Scottish congregation will now understand their expat priest a bit better.
Posted By: Raspberry Rabbit | February 26, 2008 11:16 AM
The Loonie: Offers some 'bang for its buck', but its value is constantly up for debate, as its too influenced by the current American trends.
Posted By: Lisa | March 8, 2008 7:53 PM