After pushing the board to use capital punishment rather than shunning, Elder Jones was unhappy to learn he would be the first one to be put on the electric chair.

What? Did he think he was special just because he gets the blue coat and the throne?

Curt Dalaba
First Assembly of God of Greater Lansing
East Lansing, Michigan

By-laws, shmy-laws! The throne stays and that's all there is to it!

Is this what Strauch had in mind when he talked about being "first among equals" on the elder board?

Glen Ellyn Bible Church
Glen Ellyn, Illinois

The board was deadlocked, and couldn't decide whether to use 220 volts or 240 volts on Elder Jones' electric chair.

"Tithes are down this month; and Pastor David is trying to buy a new boat."

Lew Ayotte
N/A
Louisburg, NC

a) it was clear to elder jones that christian unity was still a long way off, as he still couldn't get a seat at the table.

b) yeah, getting to sit in the elder jones memorial throne was neat, but it didn't lesson the humility of being put in time out.

"Surely not I, Elder Jones."

Ward Parkinson
Morris, MB

The Elder Board finally decided to confront Elder Jones with the fact that Phillipians 2:3 did not say consider yourself better then others, but that it said in HUMILITY consider others better then yourself.

Carl Holmes
New Life Boulder Street
Colorado Springs, CO

"Anyone know where George is?"

Eric Lewis
New Life Alliance Church
West Palm Beach, FL

Having just returned from a pastoral conference on "strong" leadership, Pastor Jones begins with some non-verbal power statements.

Since the deacons focused last months meeting on servant-leadership, Pastor Jones wanted to reinforce his chain-of-command "under-shepherd" theology to his men.

Tim Aagard
Church in a home - no name needed
San Jose, CA

This chair came out of the Old Building and was donated to the church by sister Maybell Jones in 1842. And As long as I am here.......

All was silent as Elder Jones was none too happy to find one of the board members impersonating him.

Gilbert Kerrigan
Elmwood Church of Christ
Lafayette, IN

Whispering to the new elder next to him: If you wonder why Elder Jones get a throne, take a look at his annual tithe written on this paper.

a) No one was surprised to discover that the board's chairman, Elder Jones, was a strong advocate for a strictly literal hermeneutic.

b) It wasn't long before Ted noticed that James and John Smith always sat next to the chairman.

Brad Cowie
The Link
Medicine Hat, AB, Canada

Israel, err.. the church, demanded a king, err...a pastor, to fight their battles, err...be the professional Christian, and then were suprised when he installed the throne...

Meaner than Deacon Jones?

Elder Jones, of course

Dave, you may wheel Elder Jones over to the finance committee's meeting now. I believe the hospitality committee has been sufficiently intimidated.

I hear the chair belonged to the senior pastor before he was fired for being too controlling.

They call it the “no mercy seat.”

The church board just couldn't bring themselves to name the elephant in the room...

"Where's George when you need him. Potter has already taken over the bank, now's he's after the church as well"

Eric Lewis
New Life Alliance
West Palm Beach, FL

"OK, that's one vote in favor of the motion and eight against. Motion carried."
The elder board again showed that it follows the Golden Rule: "He that hath the gold makes the rules."

Pastor Smith really knew how to chair a meeting.

J.L. Rivera
Christ the Redeemer
Ponte Vedra, FL

"All in favor of painting my great throne white, say aye."

During the discussion regarding traditional and contemporary worship services, Elder Jones wanted to make his position perfectly clear.

This is my favorite...

Posted by: Lew A at February 8, 2008

b) yeah, getting to sit in the elder jones memorial throne was neat, but it didn't lesson the humility of being put in time out.

...and from his Throne of Judgment, Elder Jones was going to determine once and for all who was responsible for the Kool-Aid stain on the Sister Jones Memorial Carpet.

And immediately they realized that Elder Jones may be a bit too "high church" to serve in the new church plant.

That's when they realized that Elder Jones may be taking his new role as "overseer" a bit too literally.

Ah. Now I get it. It just didn't seem so inappropriate when we all had one...

Convinced he was right, Elder Jones could not be persuaded that his "chair initiative" would not help in their role as "overseers."

It was then that Elder Jones realized he had not designed cup holders into his new chair.

The board began to realize that not all of them were comfortable with change.