Ah, but what is there over which to grieve as we approach utopia? Once health care is provided to all and our carbon footprints have been reduced to that of a mouse, over what will we grieve?

There will be plenty to grieve over -- violence that kills both Muslims and Christians; poverty that steals hope and health; hunger that kills the smallest first; ignorance and illiteracy that deprive many of a window into the world of ideas rather than ideology.

Yes, there will be plenty to grieve and that is why Jesus wept over Jerusalem. Our attempts to care for creation and one another need encouragement, and not ridicule. I grieve for the loss of civility, thoughtfulness, and the incoherent blending of politics and faith that produce neither good public policy or transformative ministry.

But, there are signs of hope and Sunday is coming! We grieve, Paul said, not as those who have no hope.

Chuck, I think the point was to grive over our personal sin that sent Jesus to the cross, not over your personal political and social concerns.

Thanks, Bob. There are few things worse than being in grief and finding yourself in a setting where people won't acknowledge the pain and loss. That's true of Good Friday; it's also true at Christian funerals.

After my father's death, it did not help to be told, "It's okay, you'll see him again someday." That was true, but from some people it came across as trivializing to the moment. Even Jesus wept at Lazarus's death, despite knowing a joyous reunion would follow.

Why are we such a grief-denying culture? Maybe because we believe in the "pursuit of happiness" more than "the pursuit of joy."

The very fact that we've changed "God's Friday" to "Good Friday" says a lot about our denial of grief.

It was anything but Good Friday to the mother standing at the cross looking up at her Son.

What the disciples were grieving over that weekend was the loss of someone they loved, but it was also the loss of hope. As the two disciples tell Jesus on the road to Emmaus, they "had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel." They had hoped that Jesus would be the one who would set everything right and make all things new. Yes, even things in the "political" and "social" realms. But clearly (in their minds), since he had died, this was not going to happen.

Great Article!!!

Thanks Chuck and Jonathan for your great comments!!!!

I grieve that there persists the need to pit personal sin against the participatory/systemic dimensions of sin, as demonstrated on this comment thread.

The dimensions of the cost of Good Friday can only be deepened and expanded by a recovery of a robust biblical understanding of the power, extent and effects of sin in the world.

You really don't take sin seriously if it's just about you and the naughty private behavior you and others engage in.

The whole creation groans...that's not a denial of personal dimensions of sin, it's a clear eyed grasp of the biblical account of sin and the tragic proportions of the cost and problem that God bore for us.

Thanks Bob. This is one of the reasons we observe a Tenebrae (shadows) service...we gather in the evening, with candles surrounding the cross, we read from the passion narrative, and we sing and pray. Our final act of the night is picking up a hammer and hammering a nail into the cross before we partake of the eucharist together. it's a somber evening that allows us to remember, grieve, and hope.

Nathan, you are correct when you sate it's not "...a denial of personal dimensions of sin, it's a clear eyed grasp of the biblical account of sin and the tragic proportions of the cost and problem that God bore for us." But at the same time, the New Testament clearly demonstrates that the gospel message changed one heart at a time. Jesus died for my sin, your sin and the individual sin of the whole world. Think of Jesus' conversation with Nicodemus where he spoke of being "born again". He was not speaking to a group, but rather to an individual; and he was not speaking about social revolution, He was talking about a changed heart. It's intersting to me that the ability to be "born again" existed prior to the death, burial and resseurection of Jesus. Being "born again" is a commandment of Jesus (see John chapter 3). In the Old Testament, the nation of Israel was obedient/disobedient as a group but there are also many accounts of personal, one on one realtionships with God. After the ressurection, Israel was no longer the 'only' chosen people ("... to the Jew first, but also to the Greek..."), but grace was now extended to all equally. Hallelujah, what a Savior!

Jonathan, I think you hit the nail on the head, that they thought Jesus was going to put the nation of Israel back on the map and cure all the social and political ills of the day (many who blog here are hoping for the same thing, except inexplicably, they have contempt for Israel). It wasn't until after the ressurection that they were able to see clearly that Jesus was about changing hearts, not political systems. That was what made things seem so subversive to both the church and the government leaders. They couldn't figure out what people saw in Him. Why would Mary wash His feet with her tears? Because He was going to change the government? That obviously did not happen. Those who were convinced that that was His mission (the vast majority) were left to great disappointment. The apostles and disciples never spoke of social revolution but only the revolution of the heart.

Dude... you nailed it with this post. The bland emotionalism of "pep rally worship" has run its course.
Amen ...

I understand where you are going and I think it is essential that we know how to grieve. And I agree that we really lack this ability which is why texts like Psalm 88 make no sense to us. But I have to disagree with the idea that Good Friday is primarily for mourning (it seems that you are saying this).

You write, "Good Friday ruined the first disciples’ weekend. Maybe we should allow it to ruin ours, as well. For them it felt like the end of the world." The first disciples were rebuked for having their weekends ruined. It was not the proper response then and it isn't the proper response now.

On the road to Emmaus as Jesus talked with the discouraged followers he rebuked them. "And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and pall the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself." (Luke 24:25-27). they were being foolish by being so despondent.

It is right that we call this "Good Friday" and not "Sad Friday". Of course it is helpful for us to enter into the pain of Jesus as he suffered for us (as much as we are able, since this is technically impossible), but we must never forget that this is a day of triumph. Jesus conquered by his death. And we ought to rejoice.

I think deep and profound joy with the sobering weight of Christ's suffering is what should mark us on this day - not pretending that all is ruined. I don't think we should ever live as though Easter Sunday isn't a certainty and even the disciples shouldn't have lived that way before they saw the risen Lord.

Thanks for the post.

Sometimes I feel some strange guilt for grieving. So I can relate to the context.

I've also wondered about our culture's lack of identifying dance, or dress, etc. We're a geographically large country and a melting pot, but it seems there's more to our 'dullness' than simply that. What else are you thinking along those lines?

Hey Bob, another great article.

I wonder if the undercurrent of why we church leaders don't lead in or allow grieving is simple: it doesn't "sell" (that is, it doesn't attract people to attend, join, give, serve, etc.). And of course it doesn't sell, since grief and grieving fall into the category of "bad" for our society. Those are things we avoid and diminish, not emotions we make room for.

I think this is the case. If so, it's a good indicator of what we already pretty much know: in too many churches, growth and success have become the only things that really matter. When everything gets run through the filter of attracting and keeping, there will be little room for grief.

And on a more personal level, tomorrow is going to look a whole lot different for me than it would have otherwise. Thanks again.

Let's hear it for taking off our "Sunday-Go-To-Meeting" Masks and being who we really are - first with God, and then with our brothers and sisters.

"There is a time for everything."

Excellent, just excellent. Thank you.

ONE GOOD FRIDAY. ONE AMERICAN STORY

"On the evening of that first day of the week,
when the disciples were together,
with the doors locked for fear ..." John 20:19

Though they seemed to have lived for sometime on the fat of the land and have the world at their feet...when they saw their Eagle, for the first time in their lives, mortally wounded by a rifle shot...they didn't know what to say.

With her eyes still gleaming like small circles of light, she slowly turned her head giving one last searching and longing look toward the sky. She had often swept those starry spaces with her wonderful wings. The beautiful sky was the home of her heart. It was the Eagle's domain. It was there she had displayed her splendid strength a thousand times. In those lofty heights, she had played with lightning and raced with the wind. And now, far below her home, the Eagle lay dying. She faced death because - just once - she forgot and flew too low.

They basked in the sunshine with her for three years since she came to their lives. They now sat...afraid. All at once, they became timid soldiers, reluctant warriors, speechless messengers.

Their most courageous act was to get up and lock the door.

Some looked out the windows, some looked at the wall, some looked at the floor, but all looked inside themselves. And well, they should. It was an hour of self-examination.

They couldn't get her out of their minds. If they cocked their eyes on poverty, they thought of her eagle eye of compassion. If they heard a storm of war, they would remember the day she flew over and silenced one. If they ogled at a child at play, they would think of the day she tenderly pecked at one. And if they caught a glimpse of a lamb being carried to the slaughter-house, they would remember her face streaked with blood and her eyes flooded with love.

Yes, they still grieve. And they just couldn't forget her. So, they come back.

Your soul is that Eagle. This is not her home. It must never lose her skyward look. You must keep faith, you must keep hope, you must keep courage.

You must keep Jesus Christ.

It would be better to crawl immediately from the battlefield than to not be brave. There is no time for your soul to retreat. Keep your skyward look; keep your skyward look!

- Inspired by and translated from an Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest" reflection and a Max Lucado's "Six Hours One Friday" book chapter.

Correction:

- Inspired by and translated from an L.B.Cowman's "Streams In The Desert" reflection and a Max Lucado's "Six Hours One Friday" book chapter.

Great article, Bob and thank you for the reminder. As a Protestant I often feel that we miss the gravity of Good Friday and, as you correctly point out, miss the joy of Easter.

So glad for your words, Bob. As one who has lost a lot but is still unsure how to grieve well, I was grateful that you put some words to my feelings.

Great post. I've written on the same topic in the past. So many people just want to hear "happy, happy, joy, joy" when they come to church. They want only upbeat music and complain if we sing a slow contemplative song or two in worship.

My wife (a pastor) and I went through this personally two years ago when we gave birth to twins, but one died two days latter. People we met would say, "Well, at least you have Rebecca." as if she was a consolation prize or something for the daughter we lost.

I'd say that in general, people want to keep grief at 'arms length" and not enter in. We struggle to enter into our own grief sometimes the way we need to, and we certainly struggle to enter into grief with others.

And yet, the Christian community should be a place where we "rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn."

Would that it were so!

Great post. I grieve--and rejoice--as I'm sure you do, too. God's best for you, Mary

Sir, COME ON.

You're not a know-it-all. How can you say "His intentions were good. He wanted to protect us from feeling defeated as we meditated on the death of Christ." ?? Did he say so?

Perhaps he WAS just seeing Good Friday through "Easter Eyes" (what a beautiful way to look at life!) - that is, eyes that wonder at God's beautiful, beautiful plan.

At the Good Friday service I attended I was moved, certainly. To tears at times. But more in awe and adoration than out of fear or mourning or hopelessness!

I love what David Fitch said:

"You write, "Good Friday ruined the first disciples’ weekend. Maybe we should allow it to ruin ours, as well. For them it felt like the end of the world." The first disciples were rebuked for having their weekends ruined. It was not the proper response then and it isn't the proper response now."

I had the same thought.

Good Friday is about rejoicing in a God that follows through with his perfect plans. The cross is an image of love and redemption.

Also, as a side note, your closing paragraph could make a lot of people feel emotionally inadequate to appreciate this weekend. Christianity is not about having a wild and exciting ride of emotions. Come on. Come on.

Much love,
But still,
Come on,
KJT

p.s. don't let the fact that another pastor does a service differently than you would have (or would have liked) distract you from worship. you wouldn't have "missed" any "opportunities" if you'd been humbly reflecting. Holla!

Yes, we should grieve as we remember Christ's suffering and death. However, we should never despair, because we live post-Easter Sunday and we know how the story ends and where it is going. And so our grief/remembrance is tempered by the hope of the resurrection in this life and in this fallen world, and utterly overcome by it when we leave this world.

Ironically, I went to an Easter Sunday service today that focused all too much on the grief of death. It was literally set up like a funeral. To me, this would have been overly dramatic and gimmicky even for a Good Friday service; to see it on Easter morning, Resurrection Sunday, just struck me as wrong.

Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life. He is risen indeed, and death has lost its sting. We are called to that life.

Melody,

Just a clarifying point:

Not everyone agrees with your apriori assumption:

[i]But at the same time, the New Testament clearly demonstrates that the gospel message changed one heart at a time. Jesus died for my sin, your sin and the individual sin of the whole world. Think of Jesus' conversation with Nicodemus where he spoke of being "born again". He was not speaking to a group, but rather to an individual; and he was not speaking about social revolution, He was talking about a changed heart. It's intersting to me that the ability to be "born again" existed prior to the death, burial and resseurection of Jesus. Being "born again" is a commandment of Jesus (see John chapter 3). In the Old Testament, the nation of Israel was obedient/disobedient as a group but there are also many accounts of personal, one on one realtionships with God. After the ressurection, Israel was no longer the 'only' chosen people ("... to the Jew first, but also to the Greek..."), but grace was now extended to all equally. Hallelujah, what a Savior! [i/]

Mark, Not everyone agreed with Jesus either. Please assume I do.

No words I could ever write would ever communicate Christ's suffering. What makes Good Friday bearable is knowing there is a Sunday. Praise our God, there is a Sunday.Yes, I know there is a Sunday. You know it too. However, when you truly love someone with all your heart, all your soul, and all your might and that person suffers then you suffer with them. And He suffered as no other person suffered. And I do love Him with as much of my heart, soul, and might that I have.