I really like this post. As a former pastor that became de-churched, I resonate with much of what you say. Like you, I think Chandler is half-right, even though it is an important half for the church to hear.

However, I think there is another type of de-churched person that falls in between those Chandler speaks of and the ones you speak of. I would call them the theologically de-churched. The versions of the Gospel the church gave them are no longer adequate for their lives. They did not just leave church behind when it got difficult, but went through some of the de-churching you speak of (I think the emerging church is a stopover for many on the way out).

However, due to the questions that arise through there journey outside of the institutional church and the freedom of less structured environs, they de-church themselves through an intellectual, theological or spiritual process.

The house of cards of the foundations of Christianity has fallen (for them, as they experience it). They have looked for home and found it inadequate for them (in their experience) and eventually opt out, mostly for theological, political, social and rational reasons.

A number of those now outside of church that I know have experienced such a journey towards a personal spiritual experience outside the boundaries of orthodox Christianity.

I don't know why it all must be the fault of the church. That's kind of a marketing-driven view; if the customers aren't staying, the business must be doing something 'wrong.'

Lives move in cycles. If we graphed church participation, odds are it might look like a wave. Engagement and attendance rise and fall over time, and it may or may not have anything to do with the church. I suspect it is true of membership in any organization.

I love archaeology, but my engagement with the local association has peaks and valleys throughout the years. They haven't changed at all. It's all me, my interests, competing priorities, etc.

There's a lot of truth to what Rick says - people are assailed by a million distractions every day and if they decide to stop attending a church, the fault doesn't necessarily lay with the church.

Humans are very cyclical - and it's normal that enthusiasm waxes and wanes. (I myself find that sometimes I'm attending daily Mass religiously - pardon the pun - and other times I have to drag myself to go just once a week on Sunday). I don't use the cyclical argument as an excuse to leave a church entirely, but I definitely think it at least ought to be taken into consideration.

Very helpful three categories. But... I think your analysis is flawed in your implied understanding of "the church". Who said that "the church" is that place that has a paid pastor, a building and meets on Sunday morning? The church is the community of Jesus' disciples meeting, working and growing together. I don't doubt that many parachurch orgs are full local churches. I don't think those people need to feel obligated to attend a service on Sunday AM at the local "church". That's a weird kind of legalism. I don't understand why we hold up this marrow set of culturally defined characteristics to be "the church".

I know in my own case my children becoming adults, a shift in my denomination back to older rules and practices (forsaking what I had seen as progressive changes toward Christ centered principles) and the death of my mother combined to make me reevaluate my church attendance, but not my faith. I hope the Spirit guides me and/or brings me into contact with others so that I can grow past this challenge.

On a related note, on the radio I recently heard an interview with a PhD who had a born again experience in his teens, was fundamentalist in his beliefs, eventually became a Greek Bible scholar, but ended up giving up his faith and becoming an agnostic because of some contradictions in the Greek text combined with the question of why a good God allows so much pain. The "question" I asked the radio was: "Other than Greek texts did this guy ever read any books on Christianity? St. Augustine? Spurgeon? Chesterton? C. S. Lewis?" I think *some* de-churched may have been those with shallow roots. But I also agree with the other points raised. In others words, as in my case, I think there are a variety of forces at work.

After a lifetime of living and serving in traditional, conservative, Evangelical churches, we've said "good-bye."

Adios to endless business meetings, self-absorbed political wrangling, destructive power plays, secretive whispering in the hallway during worship, slanderous cell phone conversations in the parking lot.

Adios to "hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy" {Galatians 5:20-21}.

We've said hello to a house church. Perfect? No way. Arrived? Hardly. But the focus is on solid, Biblical teaching and loving each other well. Ongoing prayer and continuing to reach out to those who need Christ.

And simple, prayerful decision-making.

We're loving it. And so thankful at this season of our lives to put our energies into what really matters.

Thank You, Jesus!

Larry, you bring up an enormously important issue regarding roots. I have had several friends turn away from the faith and fall into this de-churched category, including myself at one point, each for different reasons. I know that the depth of my and their “spiritual roots” greatly impacted how for away they got or if they returned.

In most cases that I have seen, there has been some sort of negative life occurrence (take a look at the book of Job), followed by the inability to reconcile intellectually that God would allow it to happen.

Or the “church,” which is just a community of people, as Rob pointed out, made a mistake. That person or community either did the wrong thing, or left the right thing undone and now the “de-churched” individual, left unreconciled, walks away.

From my experience, being a part of a small group in any size church is essential to preventing relational de-churching. I also believe that the “parachurch” is an essential part of the universal church.

Although I agree that churches are loosing grip on members, I don't totally agree with the untold cause - "Churches are not doing their job". I don't think churches are a lot worse than they used to be, and if we don't consider the "scandalized" group, people who often have a specific reason to leave the church, I have the impression that this de-churched movement is a legitimate child of this era of individualism and unacceptance of any authority.
I love small churches and small groups, but the danger is to make it a way to self-manage one's spiritual life without external intrusion from a leadership (which os Biblical).
Local Churches (meeting in houses or church buildings - it doesn't matter), were not made to make as feel perfectly fine and never feel any pressure, but to make us grow, which sometimes means trouble.
One last word on how churches are managed. Yes, they've become too much business-like factories of activities. Time to re-discover relationships.

Unfortunately, the issues and arguments all have man as the focus, not Christ, the head of the church, or the purpose of the Church. I am not as interested in why individuals leave a church; I am only concerned whether the individuals or the church are doing what God says in the Scripture. You could serve your readers much better if the arguments are anchored on the church as described in the New Testament. Assess people and churches against the Scripture, not based on people's opinions or feelings.

Here's the challenge. There seems to be an inability to look at what I see as a central question: What if what we define as The Problem with our church is actually The Point? It is a commonplace for those thinking and writing about the church to engage in amateur sociology and try to discern "what has gone wrong?" Their answers are all too often the same theories they came in with: the prosperity gospel, the increased materialism of the culture, the decreased attention span, too much social justice, not enough social justice, insisting on strict doctrine, not insisting on strict doctrine. It all grows very tiring listening to people conclude their assumptions. In all this supposedly intense soul-searching and hard looks at the church, the obvious is neglected.

1Cor 7:6-28. Where we are set is where we are to be found, with exceptions. This is not a command, but general advice.

Eat what God has put in front of you. Learn the lesson of this hour. Receive the daily bread.

Church growth tends strongly to reflect population increase in an area - not all the clever ideas we have about what a church should be. As long as we are bringing in all the people who showed tremendous church growth in an area where the population was growing and treating them as if they know something, we are running in circles.

This fault comes from a misunderstanding of early church history. We believe that the early church grew at phenomenal rates. After the first few years of explosive growth, it grew at about 1% a year for centuries. But we think spectacular growth should be the norm, and follow those leaders whose number came up on the roulette wheel, ignoring the invisible evidence of those churches which applied exactly the same principles and foundered.

We think only those plants which grow six feet in a season are obeying God. But most things that grow six feet in a season are weeds. (Okay, corn excepted).

This is a good article although it is a bit clumsy and artificial in its analysis and breakdown of the “de-churched” into three distinct groups. Like one other person commenting on this article, I think there is at least one other group that includes me, and I think it may be too neat to call it the “theologically de-churched.” It presumes that there is “something” that can and should be done to bring back the de-churched.
I grew up in a Southern Baptist religious environment in Virginia in the 1950s, was a member of the high school bible club and Youth for Christ, attended a Southern Baptist university, where I majored in religion and then to a theological school, where I got my graduate degrees in theology and philosophy of religion, and was ordained in the United Church of Christ. I never lost my interest in religion as an academic discipline and taught religion at prep school and in college.
However, very slowly over time various pieces of faith were no longer available to me, and at least part of that loss was “theological” – there was too much theological baggage that no longer resonated with me and which I could not continue to carry around because it conflicted with my understanding of the world around me [my “world view” in theological language].

[continued]

[cont]
One day I came to a very gradual realization that the concept of god was meaningless to me and after struggling with it for awhile I decided that it was not Christianity (understood as being a follower of the teachings of Jesus) that troubled me and that it made sense for me to understand the state of my belief as “Christian Humanism”—a concept that traditionalists have argued is an oxymoron.
If any reading this care to read in more detail the story of my loss of faith and my rationale for the argument that it makes sense to be a Christian without a concept of god [cf. the writings of Dietrich Bonhoeffer], you can see my website http://www.christianhumanist.net . But the point of my comment here is to encourage you not to underestimate to seriousness of the de-churched who find it is no longer possible for them to believe the traditional creeds. More important from your perspective, I have been contacted by more than 50 ministers over the past two years who have similar experiences as I had and who express both a sense of great loss, but also a great relief over having found a way to maintain their Christian values and ethics without having to carry a theology that is no longer available to them.

I can relate quite a bit to the second group of de-churched folks. My husband and I remain in our current location (non-evangelical since we'd have enough of the nonsense experienced during the last Bush run for the White House) because of our daughter's connection to the church family. However, I can't embrace the idea of church, mission and ministry at this place when I see more board (bored??) meetings, committees, petty potentates protecting their turf than loving, mature, in depth Christian friendships and spiritual growth. These good folks are busy, busy, busy but where is God in all of this? We are looking forward to the time when our kids are on their own and we can quit church, too. This is particularly interesting as I have recently gotten my MDiv but I am very unsure about taking on a CEO position in Church, Inc. as it seems to be smothering the living body of Christ. I am looking forward to embracing a less institutional and more relationally authentic church -- I'm tired of the 501c3 setting.

I belong to this de-churched group and for pretty much all three of the reasons identified in this article. It is a confirmation of my own experience with the institutionalized church over the last few years. I have been a faithful church attender for over 30 years and have held leadership and even staff positions in churches and parachurch ministries. But now I find going to church troublesome when most churches are in a maintenance mode and unable to be real about the humanness of their leaders. So I am finding other believers who are open to meet occasionally, pray, be real, encourage each other, and keep seeking God for His way for each of us. I don't feel disconnected from God or any less spiritual. I realize that this is not the ideal, but I am waiting for God to show me if there is a more formal group He wants me to join. For now, I have a term to describe what has happened (I've become de-churched). Thanks for the clarity.

You have forsaken your first love.Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. Rev 2:4-5

NZ sociologist and believer Alan Jamieson wrote a series of articles on this subject a few years back.. very helpful. I'll post the link to part 2 here. The categories of de-churched he describes are five and correspond roughly to the stages of spiritual growth described by James Fowler (yes, a fascinating overlay): displaced followers, reflexive exiles, transitional explorers, and integrated way-finders. The latter three groups continue a faith journey but in new ways.

Ooops.. the link..
http://tinyurl.com/ycchvr7

Do not go only by what dechurched person says. My husband is among the dechurched. According to him his relationship with
God isn't the problem. He says their isn't a "good church" in our town, but as he hasn't been for about 20 years, works in another town and does not socialize with anyone who lives here, how would he know? At any rate, if his problem were just churches and people, he would not object to prayer and Bible reading at home or make fun of me to others for being "religious."

OK. I'll speak as a woman. After 20 yrs of marriage and attendance in theologically conservative churches, I continually to encounter demeaning and disrespectful men- including staff, elders and pastors. In my career as a chemist, I was respected. At church and sometimes at home, everything I said was suspect.

Only after 20 years of building resentment, did I need to deal with the issue at home and within my church. This included searching the scriptural underpinnings of authority and submission to males.

I am still believe in a conservative, reformed doctrine of the gospel, but can no longer tolerate divisions within secondary and tertiary issues, especially those that cause harm or oppress others.

I also find conservative Christians identifying more with a political party than the teachings of God.

I haven't found a church on the East Coast that is willing to live in the tension of being true to the gospel without the weight of all the cultural trappings.

I think this issue of the de-churched would largely go away if churches spent alot more time "doing" and alot less time "meeting".

I prefer de-institutionalized church. I left institutionalized church not church all together. De-churching doesn't really fit me as I am merely leaving a system of church for another system of church.

Many people would consider that I am de-churched because their only concept of church is the institutionalized form and they think it is inspired by God. Anything else is corruption of the perfect system.

Many are de-churched, simply because they see huge failures of honesty, love, and stewardship in institutionalized forms but their direct use of God's word has been dumbed down by their institutionalized faith so they are unable to discover true faith and true church as it is clearly spelled out in scripture. Or, they see God's true design for church but having been trained by institutionalized faith to walk by sight rather than by faith, they resist trusting God to act in ways they have never seen. They choose to continue walking by sight rather than by faith. I have found that institutionalized church not only messes up your church life, it also corrupts your whole understanding and practice of faith.

All three reasons apply to my leaving. Even though I meet in homes, I don't call it home church because that puts the focus on something that isn't really a key issue. I call it 100% church. Institutionalized church is a severely corrupted form where only about 25% of what is done is really church by God's design. It's at least 75% man's rules that nullify what God asked for.

Some churches are analogous to the Civil War re-enactors, pretending re-living the supposed glory days of the 1600's and the 'historic confessions', paying a pastor a large sum to tell them what they already think, etc. Does all this help people spiritually? That question isn't asked, because it isn't the point. Except for my life of church up-bringing, I could easily be de-churched.

You know a migrating bird just wakes up one day and flies south. Is it the wind, the temperature, or a sudden impluse? Who knows? We do know this, we love Jesus and it's time to fly! How appropriate is the title "Out of Ur". Faith is a pilgrimage at this time - and like Abraham - we're called to leave.

This conversation is curiously devoid of Jesus' example.

1) Jesus attended Synagogue, an institution obviously replete with legalism and unloving or ignorant people.
2) Jesus was in close relationship with and served obviously flawed men who neither were on mission nor had the same theological convictions. Judas' betrayal and Peter's denial come to mind.

I'm not saying Jesus didn't engage in a fair bit of table flipping in his time. And there are some very grievous issues with the Institutional church. BUT, Jesus wept over Jerusalem...he didn't give a thousand excuses why he wanted to disengage.

What it comes down to with my friends who are struggling with being in church...and with me if I'm to be honest...1)we have a hard time sacrificially serving those who irritate us or I find to be less than agreeable. And 2) we'd often use criticism of the "institutional church," a very easy target, rather than address our own struggles honestly.

There is a time to leave a local expression of the Body and join another. But most of the time, we're just intensely self-absorbed. And instead of patience and long-suffering (yes...Cor 13 is for the church, not just for weddings), we back-bite. I'm the first of sinners here. I pray that God will give me the strength over the years to simply pray for, serve, and love my neighbors both in and out of the church.

There is another group within the de-churched population that has not held to a false gospel of morality, and they haven’t walked away from faith in Christ. These Christians have simply lost confidence in the institutional structures and programmatic trappings of the church. For them the institutional church is not an aid in their faith and mission. Rather it’s become a drain on time, resources, and energy. It feels like a black hole with a gravitation pull so strong that not even the light of the gospel can escape its organizational appetite

That describes me and my wife almost exactly. This article hits the nail on the head for me and what I've experienced. Our last church discontinued the small SS class / small group that had become our real church in favor of a new top-down program. Our real church was destroyed, so we left. We still meet sometimes with good friends from that group, completely outside any evangelical church structure.

I look forward to the follow-up.

Just find it interesting that there is very little scripture used on both sides to back up their opinion.

also: Chandler preaches in Texas so the audience must be kept in mind. Someone in Maine or in Québec or in Ontario verses texas will have different reasons for the ''unchurched'' or ''dechurched''

“But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”- Jeremiah 17:7-8

Nearly everyone on this blog and the article itself speaks of "church" as a "building" or a "service" or even a "local religious government". We're not leaving the "church" - which is the people who love the Lord. We're leaving the "building" and the "service" and the "local religious government". We're still meeting with "the people" - or the real "church". We're not "de-churched" at all - we're "de-institutionalized".

Jerry-

Nice in theory, but needs examination in practice. Mostly, we're just redefining the "real church" as what WE want...more accurately what I want.

Sin creeps in so easily, and clothes itself in religious dogma (isn't that the accusation against "institutional church), then before long, we are FINALLY left alone! Well, we get to be with "the people" on our terms: when, how, and where we want. Nothing more and nothing less. And over time our sinful nature wins out and we no longer have to deal with stuff we don't like.

Thank God this is not Jesus' model for ministry! May His Spirit compel us to love the unlovable, especially those in His Church. (1 Cor 13)

As a pastor, I could not wait to read this article and see what was said about this group that many pastors and congregations fret over. It's sad that we still think of the Church as the place where believers meet instead of the Church as the body of Christ, and that when believers become frustrated with meetings and congregational politics, we declare them de-churched, as if we have to power to declare someone de-churched. It's my goal to take these real criticisms to heart and try to lead those who come to worship into living out the scriptures and not cripple their ability to share Christ as they go about living by having them at the place of worship all the time meeting and debating and rehearsing for the next program. The Church is NOT the building but the PEOPLE of God.

I listened to Prime Time America program recently and found the information very interesting. However, my problem wasn't someone sold me a "bill of goods" within the church, but there was so much "friendly fire" among the Christians within the church. I came to the decision, that to leave would be better than to stay and get continually wounded.

There were too many "users" in that church and it literally drained me of everything I had inside. I gave, gave and gave, but there were NONE that wanted to pour back into me. If you are giving but not receiving anything, your built-in Spiritual bank will say, "Bankrupt! No more withdrawals until you make a sufficient deposit." I think this is why a lot of people quit church. Bottom line, we all should be models for Christ! Stop "playing" Church and actually be "the Church" like we are all called to do.

Another problem I see... so many people put "Christians" on a peddle stool, thinking they can do no wrong, then when they do fail or fall, they see them as infallible gone wrong! We are all fallible and human... so don't put so much stock into a person who you know will fail you, but put your stock in a Heavenly Father who is perfect and fills every void in your life... the true life giver! It's not about "going" to Church, or "doing" Church, but it's about stepping outside of the four walls and being there for people who are hurting, rejected and who need you to be there for them or listen to them! Isn't that what Christ came for?

For those who are interested: Three months after I quit that church, I finally found a church who practices that 100% Christ-like give and take relationship... and I'm so happy to be back in true community relationship again. If you want a really good source on this issue, get Chip Ingram's book, "Living on the Edge, Dare to Experience True Spirituality... r12, a proven pathway to become like Jesus." You won't be the same after you finish reading this material! Blessings to you!

Leaving Church and leaving Jesus are two distinct issues. If people leave Jesus when they stand before Jesus, blaming the church won't cut it. I understand becoming frustrated and heart by people in churches, but Jesus never hurt them. Its real simple, the thief, comes to steal,kill and destroy, not Jesus.

Tim

So my doctoral research took me in an interesting direction which resonates with so many people. People wounded in the church by church leaders. Would they return to a church?--is the drama of the story. And if they recovered--How did they recover??

See what you think. My book is called: Spiritual Abuse Recovery: Dynamic Research on Finading a Place of Wholeness.

Book Information can be found on my website: www.churchexiters.com.

You can email me at: info@churchexiters.com

Barb Orlowski

De-churched/ unchurched - don't we love boxes and categories.
Thought we would start our own church on Tuesdays for people who don't or won't go to church. Interesting reaction from church goers. Oh well - not the sort of thing that 'normal' people do apparently.

The first group of people I don't consider them "de-churched" as the true Church is a body of believers. I'm a former Pastor of a non-denominational church and the more it grew - the more it fell away from it's true purpose. Even when I attempted to bring that particular body back to true New Testament Chruch - the more tcertain leaders and members instilled what they were used to. I don't consider myself de-churched because I'm related by the Blood of Jesus. Relationships can never change -it's fellowship that changes. I'm presently envolved in a bible beliving group - we come together and study, pray for each other, keep each other accountable and make our faith public in word and deed. I've never been more motivated and free at the same time. People like myself don't leave the body we just leave "business stores".

I find this post very intriguing as I hadn't thought about those who leave that church as being "de-churched." The idea in itself is interesting and I like what Matt Chandler said. As a college student I know many people who have grown up in the church all their lives only to stop when they are out of high school. It is growing problem as more and more young people leave the church. They have decided that they don't need that "institutional" church, and much of that could be because of the church itself. Matt Chandler talked about the rules and regulations, and though they are necessary, they aren't usually explained well.
Human pride plays a major part in this idea of being de-churched. We always believe it is about us and what we can get from the church. Unfortunately, we lose track of the fact that the church is the body of Christ and we should be unified. I don't know exactly what to do to reverse the tides, but we must try to reach out to those that have gone astray.

You know a migrating bird just wakes up one day and flies south. Is it the wind, the temperature, or a sudden impluse? Who knows? We do know this, we love Jesus and it's time to fly! How appropriate is the title "Out of Ur". Faith is a pilgrimage at this time - and like Abraham - we're called to leave.

I became a child of God,(christian),at 13yrs.old of age. In my early twenties I was very involved in a young and growing church. I am 55yrs.old now and I very rarely attend church services anymore. I have read the Bible from beginning to end, and I have no doubt that I am a child of God, and I know I am going to heaven after death. I believe the biggest problem with most churches is that they start out with good sincere and honest intentions, but because of traditional beliefs and poor teaching the people suffer tremendously. I believe that because most Pastors and sunday school teachers don't really know and understand what the true gospel is they can't give what they don't have. The true gospel of Jesus Christ in its fullness was preached and taught by the Apostle Paul, because he had the most complete revelation from God concerning salvation and the will of God. As it is written in St.John Ch.1,v.17, for the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. I believe that far to many Pastors and religious leaders are still preaching and teaching the law instead of grace. What I am saying is the real true gospel is found not in preaching and teaching as if we were under the old covenant law of Moses, but the real true gospel that sets people free is found in the new covenant and the preaching of grace. Until the church wakes up to the reality of what Christ has done by establishing a new covenant by his grace people will continue to suffer and leave the fake phoney trappings of institutional religious practices.

I am pastoring a small plant in a marginalised area. Every single person who has joined us is deeply passionate about the gospel and living it out and seeing lives changed by God.

And their stories - my goodness.

Lives that used to be a porn actor, a person jailed as a child for being twisted up in the murder of their mum, abused women told by churches to stay with their husbands, drug addicts, prostitutes, drug dealers....the list goes on.

All now Godly people coming together in our little church because all the other churches they had gone to and opened up to deemed them not holy enough to be part of the church. This was commonly at a time well beyond them being in these lives or searching. They were shunned because their testimony was way too offensive to the institutional norm.

Now, us bunch of misfits pool our non existent resources and really open up and invite others to join us as we struggle with all the same stuff everyone else does - just no longer alone or in silence.

And as a church body, as a complete family of misfits, we are shunned by the other middle class institutionals that we seek to partner with to have our poor marginalised area impacted by the gospel and love of God. We are not clean enough or holy enough or neat enough.

Incredible how Christians generally appear to have become more holier, more righteous than the homeless rabbi who got murdered that we claim is Lord. I believe he would be asked to leave most of our churches...and THAT is scary.

Great article - thanks.

Church= the man made box where Christian women are institutionally mocked and socially/ legally persecuted by social conservative 'Orthodox' heretics worshiping themselves. The bride of Christ prefers the company of Jesus, where my faith ever belonged, TYVM. Standing outside the Church for 18yrs and counting. My Pope can intellectualize ripping the cross off my neck, but none may touch my faith. I confess I stole a saints heart in Ireland.

Dear SKC,
I agree. Women in the work force -- especially those who are high ranking -- are tired of being treated with disrespect in their conservative churches.

I just had a discussion about this with another conservative Christian woman. Her dilemma: Drop out of the church entirely? Or go to a liberal church? She chose the latter option, saying "I can deal with liberalism, but I can't deal with rudeness."

I can't say I blame her. Barna Group reports that women are dropping out of the church (at this time) at a higher rate than men.