Steve seems to presume that "being fed" is primarily done via preaching. As one who has been a pastor and now a lay leader, I also had that "pulpit-centric" point of view when I was preaching every week. But now, I realize that what's said in the weekly sermon is only one small part of the overall influence a church has on my spiritual life.

It's always a temptation to assume that other people value the things we consider valuable. But I think your points #2 and #3 really get at it--if the church overall isn't touching on the pinch-points in a person's life (relational, emotional, vocational, medical, etc.), that person is not "being fed."

Try not to take it personally, Mr. Sermonator. The ministry is a LOT more multi-faceted than the words uttered from the pulpit.

Perhaps you will get to this point in part 2--but so far I believe you are missing the most important principle of what people mean by "I'm not being fed".
"I'm not being fed" is often and most likely an indictment of the person making that statements spiritual well-being.
In 1 Cor. 3:2 Paul indictes those same statements by saying they aren't ready for the meat because of their orthopraxy, not orthodoxy. They are controlled by their sinful nature, jealous of one another and quarrelers--arguing about who is the best preacher--Andy Stanley or Marc Driscoll.

Heb 5:11ff indicts them as spiritually immature and consumers, not contributers. "You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others.
They are like infants, still drinking formula, but thinking they can digest a steak dinner. "Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong."
They have not excercised the discipline and rigor of the spiritual life.

I would acknowledge that pastoral leadership needs to recognize that sermon prep and excellent programming is important, but we ought never to underestimate the spiritual immaturity and depravity of the human person making such comments and call them out at times.

In our southern suburban context hoping on the church carousel is as popular as leasing a new car. This objection becomes one of the more frequent ones heard (the second one being "we don't like your worship style(s))

As a staff we have made the intentional point to let people know up front that only showing up to the big room on Sunday will get them so far. (We don't say it like this) Spiritual formation primarily happens in the smaller context and outside the big room in our church. We believe, and teach, that while corporate worship attendance is important, small groups are more important. Thus when someone states that they aren't "being fed" we simply ask them how their small group experience is going.

When we turn the pulpit into the primary platform to stimulate growth and sustain a dynamic ministry environment we mess up its Scriptural intent. What happens in the big room on Sundays is a point of contact for us, and our obligation to our people is help them find the next step.

Just a thought

R.A.

The nature of entitlement and consumerism is misplaced responsibility. The person saying "I'm not being fed" has given away a responsibility that this theirs. The pastor is taking something that isn't theirs.

until pastors change their behavior this will continue.

BTW - it seems the solutions you suggest don't fix the root of the problem. In fact, it will make it worse over the long haul.

i think it's the church equivalent of saying, "it's not you -- it's me."

or, "i just don't want to ruin the beautiful friendship we have; you're so important to me."

or, "i'm sorry, if you're constantly going to wear things like that in public and snort when you laugh... i'm out of here!"

Steve, thank you for at least addressing the possibility that some preachers don't feed their people and the reality that pastors are SUPPOSED to feed their people.

This is a particular burden of mine, b/c I think while there are plenty of people who say "I'm not being fed" from a consumeristic, selfish motive, there are plenty of others who say it from a place needful of the gospel. There are lots of churches presenting moralistic pick-me-ups and inspirational talks and navel-gazing small groups, and the people in those churches can rightly say "I'm not being fed."

I am tired of hearing these sincere, humble people desperate to hear the good news as the A to Z of life written off and dismissed and told they are being selfish, whiney babies. Only a selfish, dullard pastor would do that.

As a twist on what Chapp said earlier: How about the possibility that the believers complaining are maturing believers who are "not being fed" because the sermons are aimed at spiritual infants? Perhaps the focus of a particular church is to nurture new Christians or draw in seekers, and so the messages aren't as meaty as they could be. Or the disturbing possibility that the sermons water down the gospel...

I'm by no means a mega-mature Christian, but I've heard sermons that I got NOTHING out of because it was stuff God had already taught me years ago. In those cases, I still took notes, praying that God would reveal something new to me even in the middle of a sermon that I felt I could've preached. Okay, that last bit was arrogant on my part--perhaps THAT'S what God wanted to reveal to me!

And Amen, Hallelujah on the point about people wanting to be entertained.

"The problem with Christians isn't that they don't know what Jesus said. The problem is that they don't do it."

Are our "feeding" problems really due to lack of substantive preaching/teaching or a structure of church that lets people consume and consume and never actually respond!

Not being fed could go beyond the preaching. Okay, you preached well, but I don't know how to actually do X in my life. Would you lead me through it?

I've heard numerous preachers claim, "My job is not to do ministry, but to equip the saints to do ministry." As true as this may be, to equip someone often requires taking them with you as you do ministry, leading them by example personally, not from the other side of a pulpit.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of really good pastors out there that make excellent shepherds. Some just don't like to get too close to the sheep God has given them.

This is a difficult thing to put our fingers on. I appreciate this article, glad that Steve has thought about it for a while and has been able to offer some widsom. The question is: how much responsibility is on the church/pastor and how much on the parishioners? I don't think I can pretend to give an answer. However, when people criticize good, godly parents for their child's rebellion or fault a godly, faithful pastor/preacher and staff for people leaving the church, I have this thought "Even Adam and Eve disobeyed in paradise, Judas, who spent three years with Jesus, betrayed him." It seems that defection happens even in the most perfect or nearly perfect environments.

Those of you pastors and leaders who are slogging away, sometimes feeling like your work is in vain, may you receive encouragement. We appreciate you and want to come alongside to help however we can.

I'm far more at ease than I used to be when saints go to another church -- and leave mine claiming they are not "being fed." It's taken me a while to be comfortable with the idea that God didn't call me -- or the church I pastor -- to relate to everyone who comes our way. But, as a pastor, it's been a freeing, gracious experience since.

We're all at different points in our life with God, you know. So, it's not unreasonable to think that one church might be a better fit now for us and another church later on. Really, I'm happy knowing that there are other churches besides mine which offer what we don't and can meet the needs of those we cannot. We're not in competition with one another. So blessings upon those who come and those who go. They belong to God, not me.

We for a long time have used the language of feeding people as pastors. It is my contention that the role of preaching is not primarily feeding but leading.

It is our task as pastors to create a process where feeding takes place, to equip people to feed themselves and then equip other to equip others to feed themselves.

When people come to get fed, the focus is often on them self, the food and the server of the food. When people come with the expectation of being led, the focus changes. In my preaching the primary focus I have is to lead people to the right place and equip them to do the right thing in the right place. Feeding happens but it is secondary.

When someone says to me, "I am not being fed" I almost always respond, "praise God! I was not trying to feed you." I was trying to lead and equip you."

I am concerned with this easy cliche that usually masks other concerns. I am also concerned with it's corollary cliche "I am being fed so much from your preaching". This cliche is spoken by believers who are happy and eager to sit in the pew every week of their lives never realizing that God's designed outcome of feeding or teaching is to "be fully trained" and be "like" their teacher. (Luke 6:40) This means they grow up to be able to feed themselves and others. This means they are not perpetually dependent on one man lecturing to them every week of their lives till they die. There is never graduation and commencement into reproduction.

The institutionalized version of "feeding" is so corrupted from God's design. God's revelation is clear on true feeding. Let's move out of Ur with it's comfortable, predictable patterns to walk by faith, not by sight.

It is not up to me as a leader to parse what people mean when they use spiritual double-speak such as this; it is up to them to explain what their problem is or at least to allow dialog that will help us discover the problem together.

The "I'm not being fed" excuse is often nothing more than a way of sounding spiritual while covering up the fleshly motivations that have led to their unhappiness.

At some point people need to own their own growth and development. They need to stop looking for other people to feed them and learn to feed themselves.

I was fed well at a church where the pastor preached the word both in season and out, and I always felt like he was speaking to me only. I felt the need to repent, the need to get involved, and the need for Jesus!

If one out a hundred says they are not being fed, maybe there isn't a real issue. If the congregation is shrinking faster than the overall population of the area it is located in, and many are saying that, it may not hurt to do a root cause analysis.

When the pastor shifts the blame on the congregation, it could be a problem in some cases. After a formal analysis determines the flock is not being fed, the pastor may need to go visit churches that are in revival, or maybe go on a mission trip and try to re-kindle the fire of the Holy Spirit. It isn't the end, but may be just burn out or another reason the pastor has become less effective in preaching.

All studies I have seen support the leader as the one responsible for failure. Sometimes the leader is not the pastor, which may be another problem to analyze.

Let's not forget that the reasons people use to evaluate the role of the pastor also fall under the purview of his teaching: What is the church? Why do we do what we do? What is good preaching? Often pastors don't talk about the rationale for what they do (maybe bc it is not clear?). Perhaps people with a negative assessment of their church haven't been sufficiently educated in the nature of the church.

WEBMASTER: FYI - I travel a lot and I note that when commenting from outside the US CAPTCHA tends to fail. Recently from Guatemala and El Salvador. Then when I get home it works fine.

The pastor blames the congregation and the congregation blames the pastor. How convenient for everyone !!

I have hated that stupid cliche' since I was exposed to it during in college campus ministry over 20 years ago. Most of the time, it is a passive-aggressive way for someone to excuse themselves from the church/para-church ministry without trying to work out the issue or trust God to open their own hearts.

A legitimate reason for complaint/concern is articulable and specific, while "I'm not being fed" is some vague, pseudo-spiritual lament that seeks to elevate the utterer ("I'm so mature/intelligent/spiritual that I need more than everyone else") and/or denigrate the pastor/church/ministry ("He/they/it just aren't capable of reaching me").

At some point, it's just best to let some sheep graze in other fields. After all, we are all God's sheep and all the pastures are His. Retention of members should not be the goal or measure of a successful ministry.

Pastors, be encouraged that God's word does not return void, it achieves His purpose. You just might not see it yet.

When they want to leave, the reason is rarely the reason.

Well...part of a shepherd's job IS to feed sheep (as in, "He leads me in green pastures"), so let's disperse with the "it's not my job" thing. And thank you, Steve, for pointing out that there are both legitimate and illegitimate uses of "I'm not being fed." I've given good sermons and bad, and heard both kinds as well. Some hit me harder than I liked; some missed the point. When I preach, I don't mind making folks uncomfortable; but I do mind missing the point they longed to hear.

What "I'm not being fed" really means to me is that I've been a born-again Christian for over 40 years and I'm tired of hearing one or two verses at the beginning of a sermon followed by funny stories and a weak application to some aspect of modern-day life. You pastors out there who don't know the Word yourself, and are scared to death to preach the hard parts that you do know, ought to be ashamed. You will stand before God and give an account of your unfaithfulness in leading the sheep. When half the congregation knows the Bible better than you do, you need to either 'put-up' or 'shut-up'.
I think what bothers me most is when a convicting passage of scripture is read followed by exegesis on the one verse that is about love, all the while ignoring surrounding verses that deal with sin and rebellion. The number of pastors out there who love God more than the approval of their congregations is woefully small. If pastors were willing to preach what the whole Bible says, there would be very few mega-churches. Here is a passage that some of you pastors might want to chew on for next week's sermon:

Mat 7:13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
Mat 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
Mat 7:15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
Mat 7:16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
Mat 7:17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
Mat 7:18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
Mat 7:19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
Mat 7:20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
Mat 7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Mat 7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Mat 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Well I for one have a different interpretation and I certainly can't beg to differ upon reading your post.

4. "I do not like your style."
This particular part has the deadly sin PRIDE written all over itself and sad to say that it's indeed prevalent in our society. What's saddening though is that even when several people extend to help, they are ignored.