Sad, but not surprised. I would rather have a single pastor, but most all large evangelical churches are based upon a model where the pastor's family is placed on a pedestal, and all programs revolve around that pedestal.

I went to a church where the sermon went like this "I have a wonderful wife, son, daughter, father..., and if you follow Christ, you will too."

Don't give up. You may have to go to an older congregation where you can focus on pastoral care, gradually bringing in younger people.

I think that one of the reasons many churches ask for a married pastor is that a pastor is often approached for initial marriage counseling...very difficult for a single pastor who has never been married to offer counsel on subject he or she knows nothing about.
Same same with Catholic Priets...which brings the reason why a lot of catholic widowers (many of them older) were recruited for the priesthood...they bring a level of knowledge many priests are just plain void of.
Secondly, another reason is the image of "stability" meaning that a married pastor isn't percieved as being on the "market", and thus closing a potential embarassing social episode that the church may not be able too, or willing to deal with.

Yes, Paul may have regaled the single life because there are reasons for that...one is the distraction of building a family and maintaining it, whereas if you are single...you can focus solely on the kingdom of G-d.
Personally, I would think an older (50's-60's) single male would be less of a percieved liabiltiy than a young male (20's-40's).

It is unfair, it is kind of stupid, but then again, the momentous task of overcoming social prejudices requires more than a foot-stomp, a snarl, and a stentorian roar of "hey, that's unscriptural!"
It takes a lot of work to show that you, me, and other males are not philandering boneheads...however, if you look around yourslef, Mr. Almlie you will notice that others of our gender haven't been too good at changing that social perception.
There is still too much of the world in the church...and with it...comes the perceptions and biases that people establish to protect/maintain their community.

I honestly don't think it is about the marriage or the singleness as much as it is about inappropriate risk aversion. People assume that married people will not molest their children. So we hire people that are married. The church really needs to speak to inappropriate risk avoidance. I was challenged about volunteering in the nursery in our church because I was a male. (Serving with my wife in a room of at least six volunteers). My brother when he was single looking for a children's pastor job was told explicitly that they would no hire him because they were concerned about what people would think about a children's pastor that was single.

perhaps the percentage of single people applying for pastorships is in the 2% range as well. Correlation does not necessarily mean causation.

It's worth noting that the reason for celibacy given from St. Jerome is only one of many (numerous volumes have been written on the subject) and certainly one of the lesser ones. The Eastern Churches have lauded celibacy without these same understanding (all bishops are unmarried, ordained man cannot marry, though married men may be ordained, etc.). The preference of celibacy is much broader than simply an opposition to sex.

This is a great post. My observations have been very much the same in terms of how single people are treated when it comes to ministry. To say that only someone who is married can counsel others who are married is silly. That is like saying that only a professional counselor who has been molested can counsel people who have been abused. Also, many times married leaders were married at a young age, so they cannot relate to or properly counsel those who are single - especially single over 25. There is such little focus on 'family values' in Scripture. At least, the family values focus that is rampant in the church today. And, that type of thinking is what so many churches focus on when looking for a leader. It is unfortunate. True that it is possible that only 2% of applicants are single, but it does not change the attitudes, or as you said in your post, that requirements specifically speak to marriage. It's just not Biblical. It's that simple.

Very insightful, it's strange how our modern evangelical church makes us think that everything we do in church is exactly according to how the Bible says it should be -- and yet the married pastor thing is actually a relatively new concept. I hope more people become aware of how strange it is that we require pastors to be married with kids, when really that would just mean they have less time to focus on pastoring the church ... or that they neglect their children in favor of the church -- creating that ever-so-infamous pastor's kid syndrome.

"To say that only someone who is married can counsel others who are married is silly."

wait...silly?

"That is like saying that only a professional counselor who has been molested can counsel people who have been abused."

Alrighty, then...I have nothing to contribute further.

to Jon: There are more than 2% of pastors that are single in my denomination. Approximately 7.5% of our pastors are single. So, the 2% single senior pastors still suggests that there is a glass window there. Nationally, according to Barna, approximately 8% of protestant senior pastors are single.

to Justin: yes, you're right that the reasons for celibacy for the clergy in the Roman Catholic and Orthodox traditions are much broader including: 1. imitating Christ's singleness 2. imitating Mary's virginity 3. Seeing the church as the virgin bride of Christ 4. the idea that there is more power in preaching when the priest is celibate, 5. canon law starting in 306 CE required it.

Now try being a single female pastor - double whammy!
But in all seriousness, thank you for sharing these thoughts. It is encouraging to see this issue being discussed.

I'm always happy to hire single men into our ministry staff. Married with children doesn't equal stability.

We encourage them to live within certain boundaries, just like with our married pastoral staff. The only extra point that we add to their boundaries is that we ask them to not date or have romantic relationships within the church ministry. It has caused trouble in the past.

Now we are sensible and wouldn't put a single man over our married adults ministry. That is silly. But we don't have a problem with hiring them. I know plenty of churches who do. That's their business I suppose.

The hiring process for a pastor is hard enough without going through these types of things. As a single man in my early thirties going through the candidating process I always got the question "tell me about your family" to which I would tell about my mom, dad, and family. When asked about my wife I would tell them "Oh, she is phenomenal... I just haven't met her yet."

I respected those churches that would ask me about my singleness, but found it disturbing when churches would talk to my references asking them if there was a reason that I was single, whether or not I was heterosexual, or questions of the like.

I understand the fear that goes into such requirements, but it disturbs me that many times we are willing to make judgement calls on a man's character based on their marital status.

I've been on both sides...

Unfair as it is, low church evangelicals have no extra-congregational mechanism for vetting/training/providing pastoral leadership, so on one level the local church's "pastoral search" is a form of consumerism.

People want leaders they feel they can relate to and most churches have a money engine that sits squarely in "child bearing to late child raising" demographic.

All in all this issue is deeply connected to our evangelical valorization of marriage, our failure to give an account of human sexuality in anything other than moralistic terms, and our generally negative view of sexuality.

That's where the conversation needs to start.

Hmm.. I haven't really thought about that!

We have a young single friend who is a church planter. I think I worry a bit for him because I know he desires to be married. It's not bad to be single, I just wish that he had the support of a godly wife on the journey of church planting.

That's about as far as my thinking has gone. I don't know that I would disqualify a single from holding a pastor position unless there were some glaring character issue (same with any married person).

I don't know what the root of this is. It's a good ponder for me.

I do have a strong value for healthy families, but I also have a value for health for my single friends too...

Thanks for bringing this up. I didn't realize it was this serious! I am sorry for the struggle you are having being hired. Maybe that's another theological issue all together... Who in the New Testament 'hired' a pastor anyways?

"Personally, I would think an older (50's-60's) single male would be less of a percieved liabiltiy than a young male (20's-40's)."

And of course, single women are the greatest problem of all!

It'd be interesting to know how much of that 2% (or 8% nationally among Protestants, as someone cited) is in this younger age bracket and/or female.

Three reasons why, in my experience, I see churches tend to pick married pastors over single pastors:

(1) The pastor's wife is free labor.

Even in churches that don't approve of women pastors, many a church fully expects a pastor's wife to perform all the duties of a pastor to the women in that church. She's expected to participate in the women's ministries. She's expected to lead a women's bible study. She's expected to counsel the younger ladies and teenage girls. She's expected to chaperone missions trips and youth events. And you don't have to pay her a salary either. In fact, if the church is paying for housing, or she's living in a parsonage, she is sorta paid a salary, so she's sorta obligated to pitch in from time to time.

So if the church can't get the package deal, they'll pass on hiring the single pastor.

(2) A single pastor who is actively dating can be a huge liability to a church. I'm not talking about a legal liability; I'm talking about a spiritual one. Particularly if he's indiscreet, or lacks self-control, or predatory at all. You don't want the guy who's counseling you on your marriage to be privately thinking, "If I counsel her to divorce, she becomes available for me to date…" Yet I've seen this happen.

To be fair, marriage is no guarantee that these shenanigans won't happen with certain pastors. Still, congregations tend to be wary, especially if they've been burned before by single pastors.

(3) Just as there's an assumption that there's something just wrong with an aging bachelor or old maid, there's an assumption that there's something just wrong about a single pastor. What personality deficiency is keeping him single? And will it be something that'll affect the church?

All this aside, I like the article. It's quite correct. It's not about marriage or singlehood; it's about anointing and obedience to the Holy Spirit. Period.

This is an absolutely fascinating topic and one that (upon reflection) has remained under the radar.

As far as single pastors being a "liability," I don't think we have to look very far to find married pastors who have brought their sexual dysfunctions to the office. If fact, one could say that such "failure" manifested in married pastors has a greater fall out than in single pastors.

Thanks for your post Rev. Almlie. Insightful, timely and needed!

Interesting discussion...But overall, it is not surprising is it, as singles beyond their 20's (who are not widows/widowers) are not particularly welcomed in the church. Singles are asked to support the family ministries, but the families are not asked to support the single ministries - at least not in my experience. Churches don't particularly open the door to single people, so why would they make an exception for the leader?

What about I Tim. 3:2 "The husband of one wife"? Even if you translate it "a one-woman kind of man" it still implies marriage. Furthermore, the other requirement of hospitality is often unfulfilled without a wife. Also, the bishop is to be one who rules his house well. I don't think this means the dog or the car...it implies leadership! An article of this nature must include a discussion of I Tim. 3

RE: Jesus and Paul were single... We seem to understand why Jesus was single and see him as "one of a kind". But with Paul, it may be even more scandalous - he may have been divorced! Since Saul of Tarsus was a Pharisee, he was most likely married. But there is no mention of Mrs. Saul/Paul in the NT. I think there was a Mrs. Saul/Paul and that she quit him when he surrendered to Christ. This may explain some of Paul's statements about marriage and singleness, which actually seem to elevate singleness over marriage.

John asks 'What about I Tim. 3:2 "The husband of one wife"?'

This is an important question as it often comes up within pastor hiring committees. Unfortunately, most evangelicals aren't quite sure if they want to read Paul literally or attempt to translate his concerns for a modern context.

If you want to read 1 Timothy rigidly, then we are talking about "overseers [episkope]" - this is not the word Paul uses of pastors. This is why many translators render it as "bishop". From this perspective, overseers should have one wife; pastors have no such legislation.

When I was a young man of 18 I knew the scriptures well, I was known as the “younger elder” by some in our church since I was so active as a member of the counseling team and other roles in the church. I never could understand why the married folks would not counsel with me, I knew the scriptures as well as the senior pastor?

Now, as a man of nearly 52 years, and having pastored churches in three states all total of 28 years I understand very clearly. I ain’t afraid of no stinkin’ single pastor! But the reality is there is a genuine lack of knowledge and grasp of relationship concepts that are just not there without the labor of being married and raising children. There are joys and pains of life you will never know because you are not living them out and having to make the reality of scripture stick in your life despite all that comes with marriage and parenting.

There is a case made here for the single Christian, but quite honestly, reality is reality when it comes to ministry. Paul is not a good example either since he was likely married before his conversion to be the man he was as a leading rabbi. I think pastor search committees can be some of the most brutal people in the Church. Nevertheless, I can appreciate what the search committee believes they need for their church fellowship. This is not necessarily fear; nothing against you personally Mark, but there are priorities and realities.

Interestingly, while single men are a small proportion, it's about 4 percent nationally across denominations, about 24 percent of women pastors are single and never married.

The "man/husband of one woman" phrase in 1 Tim 3:2,12 & Tit 1:6 needs to be taken in cultural context in which a man typically had legal sexual access to multiple women, including prostitutes, concubines, and household slaves. Acts 15:20 makes clear that this type of porneia was a common problem among Gentile converts and it is also clear from Paul's discussion of the subject in 1 Cor 6-7. In short, being a "man of one woman" means keeping your sexual activity within the confines of a single woman/wife as is in keeping with a high view of sexuality. The wording here makes no claim that a man "must" be married.

The low view of singleness within the Protestant tradition does stem in part from an overreaction to the undue elevation of celibacy in other traditions. But if Protestants are going to hold to sola scriptura as they claim, they should be more careful to do their homework on what the Bible really does say on the subject. I have recently provided a more thorough biblical theology of singleness in a book with Crossway entitled, "Redeeming Singleness: How the Storyline of Scripture Affirms the Single Life." The book will hopefully stimulate positive discussion and reflection on the subject.

Barry: Thank you for your thoughtful and well researched analysis on both I Tim 3 and singleness in general. I just became aware of your book and read John Piper's introduction. I have the book on order and am very excited to read it cover to cover.

I very much appreciate your time and input to the discussion here.

On behalf of all single protestant pastors and single Christians, and the unmarried in general, thank you for investing countless hours into helping the Church better understand a biblical theology of singleness. It looks like the book I've been waiting to read for years.

-much gratitude
mark almlie

Pastor Gomez writes:
"There are joys and pains of life you will never know because you are not living them out and having to make the reality of scripture stick in your life despite all that comes with marriage and parenting."

As a married man, I concur. This is very well stated. What is missing from this is the fact that there are more single people in America than there are married people. The other side of the coin is that married pastors simply cannot know the "joys and pains of life" as a long term celibate parishioner.

It's time we rethink our prejudices folks.

Mark Gomez: "Paul is not a good example either since he was likely married before his conversion to be the man he was as a leading rabbi"

response: In the verse I quoted (I Cor 7:8) Paul explicitly states he is single. "To the unmarried and widows I say: it is good for them to remain unmarried, even as I do."

At the time of his writing to the Corinthians, Paul is explicitly a single pastor, and not married.

I totally agree Mark Armile! Well said.

In response to the comments made in regard to I Tim. 3: I believe you are misreading and misusing the verse. According to my research on the topic there was an issue of polygamy at that time, thus the "one-wife" statement. It had nothing to do with married versus single. And who says that a woman is the only one to possess the gift of hospitality or be given the responsibility of it? Culture does, but certainly Jesus did not! Likewise, who says that leadership is a gift only given to men - culture, that too is not Biblical. There are many strong women leaders in the Bible!

In response to Mark G's statement: "But the reality is there is a genuine lack of knowledge and grasp of relationship concepts that are just not there without the labor of being married and raising children." I concur with Mark A: "That is like saying that only a professional counselor who has been molested can counsel people who have been abused."

"Paul is not a good example either since he was likely married before his conversion to be the man he was as a leading rabbi." I hardly think that is relevant, Mark G. He was still single by the time he was in ministry, married before or not. Anyway, God chose Paul. Just as He chooses pastors/leaders today. The church should be more focused on finding someone who is Spirit-filled and eager to do God's will, who loves God with all his/her heart, soul and mind, and who loves his/her neighbor as him/herself than to work through a man-made list of rules. Eventually in Biblical times "Keeping the Sabbath holy" meant that one had to do about 5 times the work on Sabbath to get to market the following day, but they kept the Sabbath as the Pharisees and their culture dictated moving things just the "allowed" amount. Don't you see? That is exactly what the churches of today are doing with the Lord's anointed ones called into ministry in the church, in the missions field, etc. We put more stock in our process and organizational structure and system (backing it with man's logic and reason) than we do in the Spirit of the Living God who is working through us, the author of the Bible, and the power of Him who came to give us life abundantly. We spend more time in board rooms than we do on our knees. More time talking at God than listening to Him. More time looking for someone and too little time trusting God's timing and choice.

There is WAY too much pride in the American church culture, the false idea of pastors needing to be married is just one example. (Marriage shouldn't be elevated to a higher status than singleness. But it is currently in our culture.) Don't get me wrong, I believe marriage is GREAT! But it shouldn't become a god in the church and it has. We have made church into something like what the Pharisees did with the Jewish religion in their age. It breaks my heart.

Thanks Mark (and all those who have made comments!) - this discussion has been a breath of fresh air. As an Australian, never-married male pastor I can add that the issues raised here ring true in this part of the world too...

5 Questions -

Are most of the leaders who are setting these standards married ... so they figure that's the "norm"?

Are they concerned that the pastor is going to be trolling through the congregation looking for available women?

Or that he'll spend more time dating than pastoring?

Are they afraid that maybe something's "wrong" with him if he's not happily wedded?

Or perhaps there is concern who he could end up with ... and they'd have no say?

"Now we are sensible and wouldn't put a single man over our married adults ministry. " - Robert

Would you put a married pastor over your single's ministry? I think many churches would. This issue is one more way the American evangelical church is broken in dealing with sexuality in a sexualized culture.

The question the married pastors have to ask themselves is this: would you respond to a job posting that had this kind of qualification? If so, why?

My denomination, the Salvation Army, happily ordains women as officers. However, it's generally expected that officers, if married, are only married to other officers. That explained, I've noticed a few interesting things over the years.

First, it turns out that for every single male officer (in Australia, at least) there are five single females. That means single female officers are unlikely to ever marry if they remain in the ministry.

Second, we used to have single officer retreats rather frequently for single officers in Australia and New Zealand. The official purpose was to help officers build supportive networks with other officers in the same situation. The unofficial reason was that our denomination felt it had to act as a matchmaker---single officership is a wonderful thing, but we still have to do everything we can to tidy those singles up a bit. (We don't seem to have these retreats so often nowadays).

Third, there are suspicions hanging over single officers. Single officers I know have told me about the interviews that make up part of the process of ordination. Headquarters seemed quite worried that they might be homosexual, even though we have no objections to celibate homosexuals being ordained.

These attitudes (and official constraints) are fading away, but there seems to be a great fear of singleness in our denominational neighbourhood.

I am a single female, 41, involved in ministry and never married.

One thing I get really sick and tired of hearing is the following:

1) You need to trust God to help you find your mate

2) Have you prayed and asked God to help you find your mate?

3) God has someone out there for you

4) You HAVE to have faith! (as if I didn't).

5) You need to surrender to God's will

6) Stop being so picky. John over there with the greasy hair loves God - you should give him a chance, he likes you (never mind that you are not compatible) You both are Christians - that should be good enough

7) Allow God to open your eyes to "the one"

8) I have no idea why God hasn't "blessed" you with a husband yet (as if I did some major sin to prevent this from happening)(i.e. you will NEVER receive God's blessings unless you married with kids).

9) Remember Job and Ruth trials

10) The questioning of my "godliness"

My Conclusion: Didn't it EVER occur to ANYONE that I am in God's will for my life? That me being single, 41 and in ministry is all part of his "perfect" plan for me? That he has blessed me and my single counterparts tremendously?

Seriously. Maybe God's plan for the longtime single is the "Road Less Traveled." Because I pray, have faith and trust him with my life. I seek him, therefore he guides me. Why is so hard to accept that he guides some of us into a life of "singleness"?

How many Christians get married to someone because:(some of these I will be sarcastic)

1) The other person is a Christian,(forget about compatibility. The fact the other person is a Christian should be good enough. God will work it out!)

2) Because they want to have sex and can't wait

3) Or they couldn't wait, had sex, someone got pregnant and now they have to get married to get "right before God"

4) Attraction based on appearance only(and the other "cutie" is a Christian - so this should be good enough)

5) Desperation - Come now, we know how often Christians get married because they become desperate - partly caused by the church itself. I mean if you are not married, you not a "whole" person right? I mean forget about "Christ" being able to make you complete - right?

6)Desperation - did I mention this one already? I think it deserves to be mentioned twice! God forbid a person be a Christian, 45, single, married with no kids. No true Christian who follow God's will for their life can go this long without being married!!! Especially a Pastor!!)

7) Countless other reasons - OTHER than "God's perfect plan for your life is to be single"

If anyone reading this- is questioning my prayer life or my walk with God as a reason why I'm not married. No worries. Me and God are "one".

As a single person, I have learned to truly rely on him for ALL my needs. I have counceled Christian married women who are SO lonely and feel unloved by their husbands and family. They are missing something in their marriage. Some of them look for attention elsewhere desperately in their search to be loved. As a single women, I've learned to receive all of that from Christ. I'm single and I don't need to search for love in desperation. But, to trust Christ with my life. His love completes me.

When I speak to lonely married women, those are times I feel fortunate to be 41 and single. Because God has CHOSEN me to experience him in a way that I become solely dependent on him for all my needs. It's something that some my married counterparts don't have the opportunity to experience. I do share with them what I have learned as single. Sole dependence upon Christ and not man.

How many Christian married people are truly happy out there?

I tell ya, being a single women in the church - I have had married men in the church make passes at me or look at me "weird" - funny thing I have less of that - almost none from the single men.

Is it because marriage is so forced upon the church and you have these married people who got married out of church "peer pressure"?

Being single beyond 35 - you have to trust God with everything. He truly becomes your "other half". He's the one you come home to - to talk about your day. When your cold at night, he's the one who warms you. When you need love, comfort and your sitting at your house alone - he's the one who meets that need. When you need company and all your friends are busy - he's the one who keeps you company, etc., etc.

When it comes to sexuality/celebacy - gosh, of course it's not easy! But as a single person - you learn to gain your strength from God. You become accountable to him and your congregation. Were human, desires are there - but I think single Christians who practice celibacy are stronger in that area- therefore the church shouldn't worry. I mean- we waited way longer than our married counterparts - what does that have to say about us?? huh??

Yes, I hope to get married someday and if time permits have children. But, at this moment in time, it's not God's will. He want's to give me a life of adventure and lead me down a "Road Less Traveled". I wouldn't trade my life experience for anything in the world. This is the life God has blessed me with - why complain?

I personally think there have been way to many married Pastors who have had "wondering" eyes. That's why the Single Pastors are coming up. All of God's children should be treated equally. Besides it's all in the teaching right?

Good Luck to you Pastor Mark! God has chosen you to help break the silly concepts the church on us singles. Hopefully it learns to "surrender" to God's will for the church and the life of it's singles!

I think one of the key reasons single men have a tougher time getting in to a chuch is linked to systemic realities in the institutionalized form. One of those systemic realities is typically and usually that a church is trying to hire a complete stranger to be their spiritual leader on a very thin basis of a resume, a few phone calls on references, a week of interviews, and 2 sermons. Knowing the true qualities of a man and his relationship maturity requires so much more than this thin/shallow approach. It is no surprise to me that this lack of maturity in understanding the true nature of spiritual leadership in the system leads saints to make many other shallow / weak assumptions in choosing leaders. In my opinion, the whole institutionalized system is very spiritually distorted, flesh oriented, and needs complete reformation and transformation based on the Word. Saints who get ego and convenience boosts out of this status quo will only justify, excuse and project it's failures, plus attack anyone who suggests there are huge systemic flaws.

Andy said: "Very insightful, it's strange how our modern evangelical church makes us think that everything we do in church is exactly according to how the Bible says it should be -- and yet the married pastor thing is actually a relatively new concept."

This would be true looking at the roots of modern western Christianity in Roman Catholic practice, but it is not true when looking at the Church, East and West together, throughout history where the history was shared in the first Millenium. Nor is it true if we consider the role of the presbyter in the early Church as a continuation of aspects of the role of Levitical priests in the OT, as spiritual leaders and pastors. The Eastern Orthodox Church has always ordained married as well as unmarried men to the priesthood. Most Orthodox parish priests today are married. Only bishops are required to be celibate, and they are often widowers.

And, in the Scriptures, in the OT, (biblical scholars please correct me if I'm wrong), Levitical priests were typically married. OT Patriarchs (even polygamists) also acted in a priestly capacity for their families (consider Moses and Abraham offering sacrifices to God), and the one type of OT priest I am aware of for whom there was no indication one way or the other of marriage was Melchizzedek, priest of God Most High and King of Salem, who foreshadows Christ. In the NT, some of the Apostles were married, likely most of them, and based on the descriptions in the epistles of qualifications for eldership and the diaconate, marriage was assumed (though not, as I understand it, required). In any case, the Apostle Paul, as many have pointed out, makes a strong case for the advantages of celibate singleness for those serving the Church.

Nevertheless, the primary and proper criteria for ordination in Orthodoxy are the ability to uphold faithfully the teaching and practices of the Church and spiritual maturity/godliness, not marital status (not that this standard has always been successfully observed and maintained!). It seems to me also that this is what is truly key to effective ministry.

Tim, you certainly make some good points. The proper and biblical spiritual order is that godly candidates for eldership, etc., are identified naturally through long-standing faithful relationship within the local community of Christians, but in modern Evangelical culture, hiring a pastor is often treated more like hiring the CEO for a business with a religious twist. Historically, the Church has often been guilty of violating this biblical model in favor of using Church office for worldly and political purposes and nepotism. Nowadays many Evangelical Christian communities have been co-opted by business and marketing models!

Was wondering...

In the Bible, Was anyone, single or married, ever hired
by a congregation, as a "Pastor/Leader/Reverend?"

Hmmm? Todays “Pastor/Leader/Reverend,”
is this a “Title” or “Position” found in the scriptures?

In the Bible...
How many people are... called “Pastor/Reverend?”
How many people have... the “Title” “Pastor/Reverend?”
How many people are... ordained as a “Pastor/Reverend?”
How many congregations are... “led” by a “Pastor/Reverend?”

Be blessed in your search for truth... Jesus

And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold:
them also I must bring, and they shall “hear My voice; “
and there shall be “ONE” fold, and “ONE” shepherd.
John 10:16

One Fold - One Shepherd - One Voice - Jesus

>>...One Fold - One Shepherd - One Voice - Jesus

A. Amos hit the nail on the head. There is to be a "single" shepherd, and that is Jesus. No more hirelings:

Eze 34:23 And I will set up one shepherd over them, and he shall feed them, even my servant David; he shall feed them, and he shall be their shepherd.

Well, it was supposed to be David, but Jesus said "I am the good shepherd." All "pastors" are frauds.

Sorry, but pastors aka "preachers" are mentioned in the Bible, and the Bible also says that they should be paid. 1Cor 9:14 "In the same way, the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel." "Overseers" are described in 1Timothy chapter 3. It gives the requirements for it such as "being able to teach" and then says "If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?" Deacons are also described separately, below that. The Bible also mentions Bishops and Elders. No churches are perfect, and in fact, sometimes it's difficult to find a biblical church, but they are out there, praise God. But they were not perfect in Paul's day either, that's why his letters to the churches were often filled with instuctions and corrections. Nothing is perfect until Jesus returns. However, we are told to not neglect fellowship with each other, and all of us can learn from teaching and preaching, just as the Christians in biblical times. Many people today are just looking for excuses, but there are none, just keep searching until you find a biblical church. It won't be perfect, but that's ok. The Bible tells us to fellowship, knowing that we are not perfect. Perhaps you are called to preach or teach, or be on the praying circle. We aren't supposed to keep ourselves separate from other believers, or you can become like a dying ember.

So there isn't one shepherd?

WoundedEgo, read the Scriptures . . . IN CONTEXT! I think most readers of this blog would understand that there is One Shepherd (Christ) and many undershepherds. (1 Peter 5:1-4)

Re church history regarding asceticism and singleness being seen as more holy than being married - it's important to note that ascetic views were greatly influenced by Platoan philosophical principles - probably more so than by the scriptures themselves, e.g. the ideas that it is more noble (for Christians: more holy) to deny one's self of pleasure, because pleasure is carnal and ignoble.
What Martin Luther and other reformers did was to challenge these views and point out that they were not based on the scriptures but based on Greek philosophical ideas which pervaded the culture of the early Christians.

I am a male, 40, have been involved in a mimistry for over 10 years, they never questioned why I am single. By the other hand in my church I was never asked to pray baceuse of the fact I am single and seems I don't have the Lord's grace to do so. I was already many times introduced to ladies who were presented to me as the best ever, the strange thing is that these people who have introduced me them have as well single adult adult sons about my age, if these ladies are so wonderful why they don't make sure their own sons marry one of them ?

If part of the objection to having a single pastor (who has never been married) is because he do poorly with marriage counseling, that seems like a poor excuse for not accepting a single pastor. The pastor should not be the guy who is expected to "do it all" anyway; or in the case of a married pastor, having a church get a two-for-the-price-of-one deal. There should be other wise and gifted people able to assist with the ministry of the church regardless of their marital status.

Even the church I attend, most are married; including the pastor. I am certain that my church does not or will not turn single people away. Yet conversations are frequently associated with couple activities and families and talk of bringing more families into the church.

As for the comment that single pastors should just start their own church like Jesus and Paul...

response: While church planting is vital, and more pastors in general should consider it, a single pastor should not, by default, try and plant a church if he/she is not called to that. It would be a disaster. Second, essentially telling single pastors to "go away and try your own thing" certainly does not get at the root problem of prejudice towards single pastors in the Evangelical church.

Too many things have been said here to respond to all. As a single man who, after several years of church ministry and mission experience, eventually gave up on getting another church position after more than four years out of church ministry, I feel like I can relate. I have to say though that I have seen pastors with unhappy marriages and the problems caused by that were worse than anything churches may fear from an unmarried pastor. I also have to say that the worse thing anyone can say to me is that I am too picky when it comes to finding a wife. The problem seems more often to me that others have not been picky enough. I would like to marry, but I long ago learned that although it can be sad NOT TO HAVE something you want, the most miserable thing is to HAVE something you don't want. "It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman" (or man, as the case may be) (Proverbs 21:19)

I just finished being a part of a pastoral search committee. One of the first questions I asked is if we would consider unmarried pastors? "Of course." I presented the resume of an unmarried pastor and in less that 5 minutes he was rejected, "Too much education." I wanted to accuse, (but didn't) "liars!" Needless to say we ended up with a young pastoral family with a baby on the way. I am certain we have a good pastor coming, it's just that the search committee couldn't be honest with itself, let alone with the congregation. Oh well, the entire process helped to shatter my confidence in church and I am seeking the cross more than ever before. (:>)

I posted a comment yesterday, but thought of this this morning. I used to be a singles pastor. In the 80's and 90's it seemed that most big churches were hiring singles pastors. That trend seems to have died out. I may be a bit out of touch, but has the singles pastor as a paid staff position become a lot more rare?

I am a single (divorced) United Methodist Pastor who enjoyed the article, but I beleive it didn't go far enough.
While I was married, and from what I've seen in my 25+ years as an evangelical Follower of Jesus, this whole issue concerns power, i.e. the ability to manipulate and control a Pastor using his or her family as leverage. Not overtly, or even consciously, but the familiarity of relating to other married people allows us all, clergy and laity alike, to subtly issue demands and expectations to move in our own direction. Justified by our ideas of God's will, we often beleive He needs our help to get people on the right path, and implied threats concerning spousal employment, children's education, or lose of income, housing, and other benefits in one fell swoop (or SPPR/Deacon's meeting)leaves Clergy vulnerable on days when faith isn't ready for such a very strong test.
Yes, it's evn true in the system of guaranteed appointments in which I operate. Though I certinly respect my Church authorities, I place my trust in God, not Bishops, District Superintendents, or Committees.
Of course for me this is easy, I'm single!

Yet another reason why the Catholic/Biblical model is correct. Paul, speaking for God, was right. Martin Luther was wrong.

Re Jane's Feb. 1 post:

"Interestingly, while single men are a small proportion, it's about 4 percent nationally across denominations, about 24 percent of women pastors are single and never married."

That's likely in part due to not a few women "pastors" being lesbian. (I believe the Bible was written correctly when it ruled out women being in leadership over men, most of all in the ministry, so I don't recognize women as pastors in any event."

Listen to this.. "Paul wasn’t crazy. There is nothing more holy, righteous, or godly about marriage than there is about singleness. Nothing. They are both equally good before God."
Arguments pros and cons about being a married or a single priests by supposedly mature grownups trying to decide what a hypothetical superior being thinks or prefers. Why doesn't he, she or it (the hypothetical superior being) come down to the ground to tell us what he (she or it) prefers, so that we don't waste everyone's time with one more nonsensical discussion? Is it not in his/her/its interest to give you all some more clear-cut guidance on any of these endless doubts?
When will we humans accept that any discussion on religion is permeated by nonsense?
“Every religion is the holy truth to those of the faith but seems like a fantasy to outsiders.” [Isaac Asimov, in essay "Is Fantasy Forever"]
“Faith means not wanting to know what is true”. Friedrich Nietzsche
“You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it's based on a deep seated need to believe.” Carl Sagan
I only read this pathetic article because there was a link to it on NY Times.
Good luck trying to convincing righteous believers that Superior Being thinks you’re as good of a person as married ones.

It's hopeless guys. Give it up. Nothing will ever change. Everything will always be the same way it always was.

Great article... Thanks for posting.

A couple of thoughts... I certainly agree that having a married pastor is more of Western approach to leadership than to a Biblical to the pastorate. Churches like to have a model family - preferably good-looking - to model to the community and to its members. There is something about a married man that represents the feeling of stability. He is rooted and grounded (or so we believe).

As a single man (divorced) in church leadership, I can see both sides of the fence. While I have made it a rule to never dispense marriage advice to anyone, it has more to do with my divorced background. However, I do believe that a single (never married) pastor is more than capable of giving advice to married couples. Here's why...

The root of all marriage problems is sin. Plain and simple. From adultery to emotional abuse to lack of maturity... the root of all of it is sin. If a single pastor is rooted in the Bible and is mature, he can handle this AND should be be handled to trust such matters.

Should a single pastor counsel a person of the opposite sex? No. But neither should a married pastor.

Being single and in ministry - while tough - has been a major blessing. I am have been able to give everything I have to those placed under my leadership. If a call comes in the middle of the night, I can take it. If a congregational member needs to talk for two hours after church service, I can sit with him or her and talk without having a family dinner to rush to. My thoughts and prayer are always with those who are placed under me.

What can be dangerous are two things: (1) The loneliness that comes with being single and (2) dating women.

The loneliness can cause a weaker minister to fall in the area of purity by lacking any accountability during the hours of 9pm and 7am. Dating, if not done under the guidance and counsel of an older mentor, could be disastrous of the church.

All in all, I believe a single pastor should be pursued and welcomed by churches. However, if a single man is called to a senior pastorate, I believe he must be a man who has been called to singleness and celibacy. In a way, a person who is dating is not yet complete. They recognize they need a helpmate and are working to seek one. A senior pastor MUST be a completely whole person; he must be a person of integrity lacking nothing and searching for nothing.

If we are to use Paul or Jesus as the examples of "single ministers," we must see them in context; as two men who were called to be single. They were seeking for nothing.

Just my thoughts...

I guess looking at as an isolated case it cannot be judged as right or wrong, but if there is a trend than I would probably side with those who believe it is a problem