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June 6, 2011

Surprised by Addiction

These ministers faced their compulsions—and stayed in ministry.

Addictions come in various forms: alcohol, gambling, drugs, pornography, overeating, and binge shopping, just to name a few. Whatever the particular vice, addictions thrive on secrecy and shame. And while addictions can be difficult for anyone to divulge, pastors face an even greater challenge in revealing their struggles. They risk losing not only friends, but their livelihood as well. As a result, many wander down the dark path of secrecy, isolation, and despair. But more are beginning to seek help.

David, a 41-year-old Lutheran minister in Southern California, has been free for more than a year from online pornography, although no one else on staff at his church even realizes he had a problem.

He kept taking bigger risks, escalating to a crisis point where he found himself in a chat room with video capabilities with an underage girl. David found help through anonymous weekly meetings of a church-based sexual addiction recovery group, Operation Integrity. The meetings, along with the help of online accountability software, helped him overcome his destructive behavior.

"Even though I realized other pastors had struggles, I still felt like I was the only one," David says. "The Operation Integrity group has provided a place where I can make a public confession, find absolution, and not be condemned. There's support, understanding, and encouragement for the road ahead."

As with many pastors who have been stuck in addiction, David repeatedly prayed in private for the Lord to lift the burden, but remained in bondage. It was only as he sought help in a group setting that his addiction came under control.

"When I allowed others to minister to me I actually got the help that I needed," David says. "When I was in denial I carried a lot of judgment in my heart. Now, God has given me a greater empathy for all kinds of people who struggle with sin."

According to Paul Foster, program coordinator at Testimony Life Resources, an addictions counseling ministry in California, accounts of personal redemption must be told by those in ministry as a way to encourage others.

"So often we're afraid to tell people what we've been through and what God has done in our lives," says Foster. "We just need to share a portion of our story to let others know they're not the only ones struggling."

Continue reading the rest of the article at LeadershipJournal.net.

Related Tags: Addiction, Confession, Formation, Grace, Growth, spiritual, Men, Pornography, Temptation

Comments

really, Porn...that is it?
You mean to tell me porn is the secret horror Pastors struggle with?
/faceplam
I challenge this assumption, and more over, I call muggins!

Any and all things can become an addiction!
Shopping...perhaps, but what about things that take our attention away from family, friends, and interests...reading books can be an addiction, hiding in them from the world is addiction, turning to them when lifes struggles become to much, or too real; but whoa, won't hear anything about that coming from such august bodies wanting to bring porn to the forefront.
What about video games?
How bout gardening?
WHAT ABOUT THE BIBLE!!!

When any item/thing/activity consumes our attention to the exclusion of all others, then that is called addiction...and it comes in a vareity of forms!

Grow a spine, tell the men, "Porn is the least of your problems!"
And then address the real issue...addiction to a subject only points to the real issue which is the unwillingness to address/confront a life issue that has been allowed to grow into a mountain.
The porn, or whatever the "addiction" is...it's just a distraction, a ball of yarn that is batted about so as to rationalize putting off addressing that mountain.

And one other thing, stop pandering to "porn addictions"...there are so many addictions that people hide in...the consistent pounding on the porn addiction drum...lord, it annoys me to no end.

Sheerahkahn,

Calm down, man. If you read the rest of the article at LJ.net you'll discover stories of pastors battling addiction of drugs, alcohol, gambling, and other vices.

Have you ever considered that writing long blog comments with too many caps and !!!! may require intervention as well?

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The need to come out of denial and to find a safe community to begin to share what's most true about us are huge needs if any one of us is going to conquer an addiction.

That's going to be no easy task for a pastor, who has a "reputation" to uphold, and knows that he'll most likely be shown the door if he dares to share his deepest, most wrenching secret.

And yes, porn addiction is a huge problem for ministry leaders, and sadly, I believe it will reach catastrophic proportions in the years to come because our kids are being exposed to more graphic images at younger ages, thanks to the incessant technology we've so readily embraced.

"Have you ever considered that writing long blog comments with too many caps and !!!! may require intervention as well?"

Fair critique, and point taken.

Call me crazy, but I'd feel far more comfortable knowing my pastor was addicted to shopping that knowing he was addicted to porn. But addicted to the Bible? Kick the bum out!!!

While I often feel Sheerahkahn's comments a bit challenging, I find myself agreeing with him this time. Forget what I will call The Big Three: gambling, porn, drugs. The are important but have almost become passe. Every week we hear of a pastor confessing to, if not overcoming, these addictions. I do not mean we ignore these conditions, but you have to admit, these days if you first begin seeking treatment, how hard is it to then admit you have a problem with drugs or gambling? And just yesterday a US representative publicly confessed to an online sex addiction. [While it serves my point, I am hesitant to leave that in. I will trust that subsequent comments can stay on message and not digress into the politics of this.]

Tell me about pastors standing in front of their flock confessing their addiction to: Applause. Money. Technology. Fame. Smiles. For me this level of openness and honesty would indeed be news.

"Tell me about pastors standing in front of their flock confessing their addiction to: Applause. Money. Technology. Fame. Smiles. For me this level of openness and honesty would indeed be news."

My pastor often confesses these kind of 'addictions' or 'temptations'.

Dave, I think you make a good point about the more subtle addictions to approval, praise of men, "smiles," etc. To this we could add the lust for power, the need to always be "right," the supreme concern for one's own image and reputation, always having and needing to express and assert one's own opinion on everything, etc. How many Christians in positions of leadership do we meet who are very skilled orators, but who seem woefully bereft of listening skills? Even if there are pastors willing to admit they struggle with their pride, I don't find that very many Christians take the incompatibility of this sort of motivation with true communion with Christ and the accomplishment of His will seriously enough.

All sin separates us from God and our fellow men and threatens our fitness for ministry. From an Orthodox perspective, the Fathers considered the sins of the mind (rooted in pride) to be more dangerous and damning than sins of the body such as greed, gluttony, sexual sin, etc., in the sense that they are more difficult to recognize as sin, and, therefore, harder to eradicate. Of course, the Pharisees are the prime example from Scripture of the insidiousness of this kind of addiction for religious people.

Nevertheless, in our religious sub-cultures (and perhaps because we are so blind to the more subtle addictions), sexual sin in particular still carries an extremely powerful sense of shame and consequent ability to bind us with our dark secret. It truly is cause for encouragement and rejoicing then when we see someone find the courage to bring it out in the open for healing. Things are not as they once were--help is more readily available now--but this is still a powerful bondage especially for those in positions of authority who are expected to be role models for the rest of us. The pervasiveness of technology such as the Internet makes porn so completely accessible and easier to hide that it's little wonder the problem is epidemic. I'm glad pastors are finding freedom and speaking out.

By all means, let's not neglect areas in which we need to increase our awareness of the subtler addictions and call for repentance, but there's no need to minimize the significance of the example in this post. It is still an accomplishment to be lauded and which should encourage all of us.

Interesting verses: 1Co 6:18-20 "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." KJV

OK, I'll admit this I made a pretty strong statement: "Forget what I will call The Big Three: gambling, porn, drugs."

What I was trying to convey is not that people suffering from those addictions should just get a free ride. Of course, every Christian needs to face their own demons and overcome them with the available tools (prayer, friends, programs, etc)

What bothers me is when someone is preaching on addiction. Here they are not confessing their own sins, but expounding on the sins of others. And in the process they continually harp on The Big Three. It is so easy for me in the congregation to sit back and say "I'm OK. Faithful to my wife. Too cheap to gamble. And clean from drugs. I guess I must be a pretty good guy."

And while appropriate sexual behavior receives an especially strong Biblical mandate, pride, money, fame, self-gratification, etc, are all amply covered in the scripture. I'd just like to see these deceptively subtle and dangerous behaviors get more attention from the pulpit (and the blogosphere ;-)

I think that often we also have a tendancy to overlook the power of the "less popular" addictions.

We hear about people's lives and families torn apart by drugs or lust. But what about the fellow whose life is destroyed by his pride?

Or how about worry and doubt, sins that are so easily passed on from one generation to another. They can cause folks to abandon their marriages, their jobs, their dreams...wasn't it fear that led Peter to deny Jesus?

Drugs, lust, porn; are pretty easy to define. Pride, worry, doubt - a little more difficult. Some of us, however, can sure see them in others. Shopping? Not been a problem for me until I became a grandmother (hee, hee).

I guess, it will be much esier for us to get clean of that stuff we "battle out"(read, addicted to), if we can start saying to ourselves, our own souls: "Man, it's a sin! It smells like death! like hell! Oh, my soul, cry upon the Lord to be delivered untill the time is NOW!"

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