This is awesome.

I am very disappointed regarding this 'beard' display. I HAVE BEEN LEFT OUT! I am clean shaven (maybe a little more stubble than in past years) - so does that mean i am irrelevant:)?

Carl - there is still hope! The Lenten season is perfect for forsaking thy razor...

You missed one. It's the Abraham Lincoln beard often worn by lay elders who want to give the impression that they are "deep theological thinkers" who give counsel to all of the others pictured.

This is absolutely hilarious!! I’m sending it to my fellow ministers right away—a few of whom are shown on this image (particularly the Perennial Youth Pastor, the Hipster Pastor, and the Post-Evangelical Stubble, which is my favorite)! Thank you so much for sharing—this was a laugh I needed very much on this dreary Friday.

Such wisdom! Love it. Maybe I should rethink my clean shaven look?

For some of us, it is just that over time our hair has simply migrated to a lower point on our head.

Awesome! Hilarious writing. Boy band church planter is my fave.

PS: Tall Skinny Kiwi was on this subject back in 2005. But 8 years later some facial hair trends among the cool pastor types have migrated. :-)

http://tallskinnykiwi.typepad.com/tallskinnykiwi/2005/12/ending_the_emer.html

The one addition I would make to the list is the Duck Dynasty beard ... which is growing in popularity in many of my church circles (which the Robertson clan also circulates in). While similar in volume and length to the "Angry Whiskers", these beards are long on love, grace and warmth.

Great list! Thanks for the laugh.

Funny :)

What? No Amish beard?! For shame!

I feel... so... inspired...

funny enough....the only one they left out is the would-be or aging hippie ponytail, seen on older guys who no longer have any on the top....and are overcompensating! Their theology would be very modern and rather wimpish.

Better grow the stubble.

Don't want to end up with the wood or hay.

(it's late...)

Creediii...Anabaptist here is the Amish beard

Minor quibble--"*men* of the cloth" but "ladies"?

Saying, "...omission of women..." would be better.

What about the old traditional guy mustache?

I am going for the Reformed or the Spurge on.

You got a chuckle out of me, but like the one commenter up thread, what about the clean shaven, military cut type?

We need a 'hairstyles of women's ministry' version. PLEASE!!!!!

You have to include the handle-bar mustache of the British Raj, in India.

I've never liked beards. I've never realized how vain men can be until I've seen such a high percentage of men now who have goatees; they're so spooky and creepy looking; such a strange trend.
Why do men want to cover up their faces? There's nothing like a well-dressed, neat, clean-shaven man.

Then there's the Pharaoh's beard. (Warning: False beard may be worn by female pretenders to the throne!)

I am an Anabaptist. I have worked with a group of Old Colony Mennonites in Bolivia who had a hard time with our goatees, because to them facial hair was vain ... unlike the Amish. Also, what about our women pastors?

The first one looks amazingly like my own pastor.

My beard is somewhere between The Spurgeon and The Neo-Reformed. My theology is, too!

What about the great Paul David Tripp mustache? It is a category unto itself. I would label it the PDT Mustache.

This might be a hairetical reading, but at first sight I thought the blog was "Out o' Fur"...

Ha! My beard's not in there! I grow one because it hurts to shave! And I am old--it's full and not scuplted. It grows everywhere hair can grow (don't try to wrap your mind around that one). And it's grey just like the top of my head!

In spite of that--youth still follow me around like I actually make candy! I keep telling them "what's wrong with you kids? Don't you know that there are younger, more hip youth pastors than me out there?!!"

@ Randy - THAT IS HIL-HAIR-IOUS!

@ Bill - The mental image is impressive!

I don't understand why you apologize for omitting women from the list. You should apologize if you had included one in this list.

Wow. I'm clean shaven, have been for years, and I kind of like it that way.

But Spurgeon has spoken...

What? No Santa?! Bill, I think we need you!

Spurgeon's beard should top the list...!

Revelatory! But you left out the tri-vocational Pastor's facial hair style. Shall I send you a sketch of my husband's noggin?

Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!

Oops, you forgot the "Junker" Martin Luther look. The perfect beard when you have to go in to hiding in a castle.

This is AWESOME! And, rather fittingly, my own pastor sports a variation on the "Reformer."